Wallflower Ink

Chapter 16

· Merri ·

I sit down on the edge of my mattress and utter a soft breath. My back is on fire, as if someone's doused it in lighter fluid and stuck a match to it. And each time my heart beats it seems I can feel that in it too.

Dropping my face to my hands, I focus on the intricacy of the pain. While it's not as bad as I'd feared it would be, it's far from a walk in the park. I think of Joey and smile despite it all. Would he have been proud of me, I wonder? Or would he have just shaken his head and given me his famous frown of disapproval? I decide on the former and utter another sigh.

I let my thoughts drift to Jace, and how he'd seemed almost proud of me today. That thought worries me. How long would he feel that way if he knew everything about me, and about the secrets I still keep? Not long, I suspect. And though I have no intentions of divulging any more private information about my life than I've already offered him, I don't like that he feels so comfortable with me now.

It feels like a lie, something I've never really been that good at. But there's no other way around it. Some things are too dark to share with others, and I have no intentions on sharing everything else with him. At least, not yet.

He and Katherine--Katie deserve to know the truth, and I am considering telling them when I finally have all my affairs in order. By then it won't matter any more how they feel about me, but it will matter to me. It won't clear my conscience but I feel it might bring me a sense of peace in the end, no matter how slight.

I shake my head and push those thoughts from my mind. They will lead me no where good, and I don't want Jace to question what's on my mind today. He is extremely observant and I don't want to chance a slip of the tongue that might send him packing before he's finished the job we've set out to do.

With a final deep cleansing breath, I rise to my feet and move to my closet. I can't stay in my room forever, so finding something comfortable to wear is my number one priority at the moment. I pluck a dress from a hanger--a summer dress that ties at the neck, with a low slung back that will not touch the majority of my new tattoo.

Exchanging it for the shirt I still clutch to my chest and the sweats I only ever wear when I'm feeling particularly down, I slip it slowly over my head. Though I'm trying to be careful, it still rubs painfully against my back and I hiss at the renewed burn.

When it begins to subside, I make my way out of my room and join Jace, where he sits at the bar in the kitchen. He offers me an unsure smile and I give a small one back to him in return for his effort before picking my phone up off the counter where I'd left it earlier this morning. I had silenced the ringer and think it a good idea to check for missed calls and messages.

I scroll to my call log and my stomach drops when I see my mom's number several times.

"Shit," I mutter softly.

"What's wrong?"

"My mom's been trying to call me. I'd better call her back or she's liable to send someone to check on me."

I meet Jace's eyes and he gives me an understanding nod. I turn away and tap in Sophie's number. Her phone rings out on the other end until the familiar message plays, the one that still has Pop telling the caller to leave a message.

A small, familiar lump forms in my throat at the sound of his voice and I swallow hard against it before ending the call and trying again. After I've listened to the message two more times, I end the last call and lay my phone back on the counter.