Wallflower Ink

Chapter 38

· Jace ·

Merri's car is parked in front of her house, and as Katie and I pull up alongside it, I let out a sigh of relief. She's still here. She hasn't gone anywhere to do anything stupid, though that doesn't mean she isn't inside doing that very thing. I'm not sure right now how I feel about her, but the thought of her doing something to hurt herself makes my heart sick.

Hopefully that will not be the case.

As I reach to unfasten the buckle of my seat belt, I catch a glimpse of something tucked deep between my seat and Katie's console. I fish for it then pull it out.

"What's that?" she asks me as I slowly unfold the sheet of notebook paper then stare down at it in amazement.

"Joey's list," I mutter then turn it for her to see.

"I'll be damned. I looked all over my car for that."

I smile despite my current worry, despite the turmoil of my emotions, despite the fact that I am about to reenter a house I'd sworn never to come back to earlier today. And with the relief that floods me on finding it, and the smile it brings to my face, I realize something: I still care about Merri and her happiness.

"Let's go. She'll be happy to have this back."

Katie nods, grinning at me before she turns and opens her door then gets out. I follow her. When I knock on the door and no one answers, I boldly opened it and step inside. The house is silent as a tomb, and for some strange reason it feels like one as well. I shiver lightly before shaking off that morbid thought and calling out her name.

"Merri?" The silence that answers me gives me a terrible feeling, and I immediately pull out my phone.

"Who are you calling?" Katie asks as she watches me.

"Merri."

As the phone begins to ring in my ear, a soft ringing from somewhere in the house answers its call. With Katie falling in behind me, I follow it down the hall and to the closed door of Merri's room. I swallow hard as I end the call then turn the knob and open the door. I'd been afraid of what I'd find in here, but all I see is the room she always keeps neat and tidy.

In the center of her bed lays her phone, and next to it a white business envelope with my name neatly penned across its front. Tucking my phone in my pocket, I take the couple steps to cross the room then bend down and scoop up both the phone and the letter.

I hand the phone to Katie, then slip a finger into a corner of the sealed envelope. After tearing it open, I reach in and pull out what's inside: a small stack of bills, and a neatly folded note. I hand the money to Katie too. Opening the letter slowly, I take a deep breath to calm my panicking heart before I begin reading it silently to myself. Katie leans around me, reading it too.

"My dearest Jace,

I'm not sure what I hope to accomplish in writing this letter to you, as you will most likely never read it, and I would never consider holding that against you. I have done a monstrous thing, and your hatred is my deserved penance. My last words to you, if I'd had the chance to say them, would have been how sorry I was for what I had done, and to ask for your forgiveness, though I know I do not deserve it.

Thank you for everything you did for me, for how you helped me when I thought there was nothing left in this world for me but sorrow. Thank you for showing me what happiness was, even though it was only to be mine for a very short while. Thank you for teaching me what love was, and for showing me how to experience it for myself. For that alone there will never be enough words for me to express my gratitude to you.