Mine, To Begin With!

26. Disappointed

          Forth ran as fast as his legs could take him. He opened the cottage door with the key he got from the reception and dashed towards the room he shared with Beam. He entered the room to find it empty without Beam. He opened the cupboard to find Beam's bag missing as well.

       Forth slumped down on the bed in shock. He had not expected Beam to disappear when he had so much to say. He regretted leaving Beam alone in the room. He regretted not confessing to Beam when he had the chance that morning. Now with Beam gone, nothing seemed important to Forth anymore.

        Forth felt a pang of pain pass through his chest realizing Beam had not uttered even a single word since they woke up that morning. It was just Forth, trying to talk and explain things while Beam had remained quiet listening to every word Forth had said. He remembered how Beam had sat devoid of any expression in his face.

       Forth recollected how passionate and beautiful the previous night was. But as soon as he woke up, every insecurity and doubts he had, rushed back to his mind and he panicked. In that moment of panic, he had spouted complete nonsense to Beam. He was not scared of Beam rejecting him. He had realized Beam's feelings for him long back. But he was scared that Phana and Kit would find out and reject him. He was scared that he was not worthy enough for Beam. But now, what frightened him more were the thoughts of having messed up to the point of no return as Lam said.

        Forth realized how Beam had paled the moment he uttered the word 'sorry'. He punched the night stand with his fist realizing how that would have sounded to Beam.

       "What have I done? Beam probably thinks I regret everything. How will I explain him that last night he gave me the most memorable night in my life?", Forth muttered to himself pulling out his hairs.

         Forth stood up from the bed and started packing his bag. Although it was lame, the only reason he had for leaving Beam alone in the room was because he didn't want Phana or Kit to get suspicious. Also ever since the day Beam had said that he was damn sure that Forth would win the moon competition, Forth gave his best in everything to make sure that he would win the title for Beam. 

          But Forth knew that without Beam, the title would be meaningless to him. He still had his video to be shot for the moon competition. But he didn't care anymore about the competition or the seniors. He took his bag and walked out of his room when Phana and Kit entered the cottage.

       "What are you doing here? Our seniors are searching for you at the beach and I have been looking for you everywhere. And what is that? Where are you going?", Phana asked pointing to the bag in Forth's hand.

       "Pha..Beam..Beam..", Forth hesitated pointing to the room.

       "What happened to Beam? Where is he?", Kit asked moving towards the room.

        "He is gone", Forth replied in a whisper.

        Kit stopped and looked at Forth sharply, "What do you mean by he is gone? Where did he go?".

       "I..I don't know. I guess he went back to the city", Forth answered nervously.

         "What? He went back? But why? He didn't inform me anything", Phana grumbled in irritation and pulled out his phone to check their group chat. 

        Forth bit his lower lip and remained quiet unable to answer Phana's question. Meanwhile Kit entered the room and looked around perplexed. There was something amiss in the room but he couldn't pin point to what it was. The room remained the same like how it was except the messy bed and without Beam's things.