23. choose you

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TRIGGER WARNING: BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE, PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THE FOLLOWING TWO CHAPTERS INVOLVE VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECTS IN THE CASE OF SUICIDE AND EATING DISORDERS. IF YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST SUSPICION THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE READING, PLEASE DON'T. MESSAGE ME PRIVATELY, AND I WILL GIVE YOU A SIMPLE RUNDOWN OF WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS! I never want to cause any of my readers unnecessary pain. I cried during these two chapters, myself. But if I don't address real life issues, I feel like something is missing from my stories. One of the most important lessons to take away from these two chapters today, is that you are NEVER alone, and sharing how you're feeling with those closest to you is a relief and a positive action that you should never NOT take. If you are suffering from any kind of a mental illness please talk to someone you trust, please use resources that are plastered online - such as free 24/7 counselling wherever you live in the world. Don't suffer alone. Don't do yourself that injustice. Just like you all hate how Marley feels this way about yourself because of how much she is loved and worthy of happiness, YOU deserve and are worthy of the same love and happiness. If you're in a rough patch in your life right now, you're not the only one. I've been there more times than I can count. I'm still there. But we're all in this together, and I respond to most comments on my latest chapters so don't be afraid to start conversation and confide in this safe space!

Second topic to address: the BLM movement, and everything going on in America and the world right now. I'm not going to post links, because everyone else has. There's no excuse not to know where to go online to sign petitions, and how to help. If you don't have social media - where petitions and other ways to donate are everywhere - then it only takes a simple search in google. Even if you can't donate, signing petitions takes seconds of your time. If you can read my story for 30+ minutes today (which you will be if you're hoping to finish it all, especially next chapter) than you can take five to show your support to your country or to other countries. The world needs change, internationally, police need reform, governments need accountability. But we all know that by now. There's no reason not to, if you have internet. There are so many ways to get informed. Please do.

I love everyone, I love everything. I'm a vegetarian because I even love animals too much to eat them. Suffering of any living creature truly is a burden on my mind, and I want more than racial equality, I want a world where any form of unnecessary hate and pain against each other and nature is eradicated. It truly boggles my mind how this is humanity, how this is our reality. Hating on each other for such trivial things that have no impact on what we have in common - hearts and blood and being a living creature made in the image of whatever God or deity you do or don't believe in. We're in this dying world together, and the only thing that can save us now is being on the same team. One of my favourite quotes on this is from a famous speech made by Prince Ea: "Because whatever you're fighting for: Racism, Poverty, Feminism, Gay Rights or any type of Equality, it won't matter in the least. Because if we don't all work together to save the environment, we will be equally extinct. Sorry." Very powerful message of how we should be fighting, and what we should be fighting for.

The last topic I want to touch on in this A/N is last chapters' controversy in specific to Marley and Gabby's conversation about her cheating on Ethan. I set off quite a few readers, some of who decided to call my characters' morals, mine. This is completely false, and any author will say that as much as our books are a part of us, not every opinion in the books is our own. If I write about an evil character, I myself am not evil. I myself don't think or believe or feel what they do. It's for the story, because the wrong opinions and bad morals have always held a very important place in literature since the beginning of storytelling. That being said, Marley isn't a bad guy for what she said. You don't have to agree with her, but it doesn't make her evil to see the good and the bad in shades of gray, and not strictly black and white. Remember it is in her nature to be compassionate and see the best in people, above all else.

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