Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Harry's P.O.V
As I climbed on the bus, fear was gripping onto me. I went to find Lindsey immediately. I didn't know what would happen at school, if he'd spread a rumor that I kissed him, or something, but I was terrified at what I might see. I saw her sitting in her usual spot and sat down. My eyes were unfocused and staring off into space, they were unblinking. "Hey, calm down. I'm sure he didn't say anything, at risk of his reputation of even locking lips with another guy."

"I'm still terrified. Lindsey, you don't understand how badly I was bullied at my last school. It was terrible. They called me faggot, fag, gay, cock-sucker...and all other names aimed at gays you can think of. And wanna know the worst part? That stuff followed me home. They'd egg my house, they'd show up on my doorstep, threatening to kill me. What did I do to deserve it? Nothing. I was just different, and they don't like me to be different. Everywhere I went, fear was apparent in my appearance. I was always scared, even at the mall or something, I was terrified that if I turned a corner that I'd be pushed to the ground. I flinched every time someone spoke to me, that's how bad it got. So, I left. I was just done. With it all. And if it follows me here, I'm not sure how well I'll take it." I said, pouring everything to her. That's when I knew, Lindsey was a keeper. A real best friend.

"I'm so sorry, Harry, but I promise you, even if rumors start here or anyone finds out...it will get better. I won't let them get to you, I'll beat up anyone who tries to come near you in a harmful way." She said, playfully punching me on the shoulder. I laughed and rubbed my arm slightly. The bus lurched to a stop, and so did my stomach.

I got off the bus and went straight to my locker, I saw Louis standing by his locker. At first, I hesitated. Do I want to go to my locker right now? Should I wait? Ah, to hell with it. He was the one who kissed me. He'd have to deal with it. I strode towards my locker, turned the combination and popped it open. He seemed surprised that I was there randomly, and turned to me. "Look, we need to talk." He told me.

"Yeah?" I tried to sound cool about it, but I was terrified.

"No one can ever know what I did, okay? But I'm not going to lie, these past few months have been...confusing. I've been looking at guys at the pool rather than girls, and then you came along. I thought it was just a phase, and that I'd get over it. But, it's something about you. I'm not sure what it is...but I feel drawn to you. I'm not going to lie, I have feelings for you one way or another. But we can't be together, I don't want the school knowing how I am."

"What, that you're gay?" I asked.

"Yes. That exactly."

"What's so bad about being gay?" I said, I was beginning to feel my heart breaking.

"Well...it's just bad for my reputation. That's all." He said, he shrugged it off.

"Your reputation? What, it's so bad for the high and mighty sports all-star to be into men?" I said. I was beginning to sound defensive.

"Look, try to understand, okay? Now, are you going to tell anyone about what I did?"

"I already told my friend. She promised not to tell," I said begrudgingly.

"Whatever. Just, listen, we can't be seen together. Ever. Okay? Don't take this the wrong way, but don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't do anything that would end with us coming in contact, all right? I need to shake these feelings and get back to normal."

"Have you ever thought of taking the hard route? Instead of doing what's easy, you could make it hard instead, but make it more fun for you and other people in your life?" I said. I felt on the verge of tears. I knew he felt attracted to me, but he was slipping from my fingertips.

"I'm not about to come out to the entire school. I'm a sophomore, I'm still pretty close to the beginning of high school and I need to make sure I work up a good reputation for myself, all right?"

"Why, then," I said, slamming my locker shut and slinging my backpack over my shoulder, "would you make a reputation of yourself, that isn't you?" I turned on my heel and walked away.

Louis's P.O.V
He was right. Why am I so afraid to come out? Then, he would, and we could be happy together. I sank to the ground and ran my hands through my hair. Why was this so hard? I'm sure all my friends would still accept me for who I am, right? Well, I spoke too soon. As I thought that, when Harry was walking away, my group walked by, shoved him in the lockers and called him a faggot. They laughed like Neanderthals, and didn't break their stride as he scrambled to pick up all his papers. I'll never forget the look he gave me as he stood up. Tears were welling in his eyes, and what I read in his emotions were, "Louis, you did this to me. You did this to me and broke my heart. Was your reputation worth all this?" Then, he wiped his eyes, and walked off. I got up before my group could swallow me and turn me into my normal douche self, and walked to my class. I wasn't having this, I wanted to be alone today and think really hard.

Harry's P.O.V
It's happening again. The name calling. The pushing. What happened? Just a few days ago they invited me to their football match, and now they're calling me a faggot and shoving me into the lockers. Are all jocks this bipolar? I was feeling so lost and alone, I just wanted to go home, curl up in a ball and cry. I know I had Lindsey and all, but she won't ever understand how hard it is to be gay and bullied for it. All you want is to be normal, maybe to have a boyfriend or something, but no. You're instead, ridiculed, for something completely out of control. I want it to be stopped, but I'm so scared. Fear is beginning to come back to me. I knew I needed to get home right now. I couldn't continue throughout the day.

I went to the office and faked a stomach ache. "I really don't feel well. I need to go home." I told them.

"All right, call your mom and have her come pick you up. We'll excuse you from your classes today. Just make sure you get any missing assignments whenever you come back to school from when you were absent." The lady said tastelessly.

"Thank you." I pulled out my phone and called my mom.

"Mom, I don't feel well. Can you come pick me up? I need to come home."

"Sure, honey, I'll be right there." I hung up and sat in the office for a few minutes before my mom got there, we got in the car and she immediately barreled out what she'd been waiting to say.

"All right, one, I know when you're lying. Two, why do you feel the need to get out of school? Is it someone there? Three, you didn't seem all right after the football game last night, is it something to do with your 'illness' today?"

"Answer to one, damn it. I hoped you wouldn't. Answer to two, it's something to do with a guy...three, yeah, it had something to do with the football game."

"What happened, sweetheart?"

"Well," I began. "I sorta like Louis, who's the school jock. I thought he was straight and all, until after the football game...he kissed me. He said it was a mistake and immediately left. He was my first kiss. Then, at school he told me he liked me, but he couldn't be with me because of his reputation. He's trying to build a reputation of someone that isn't him, and it's killing him and me. I don't know why he isn't just happy. And, for the finishing touch which sent me over the edge, I was walking away from him and his friends called me a faggot and pushed me so my books fell on the ground. So, basically, he stole my first kiss, broke my heart and now his friends have me as a target. That's why I needed to go home today." We pulled into my driveway.

She immediately turned off the car and pulled me into a big hug. "I'm so sorry, baby, but he doesn't deserve you. He's manipulating you and you need to make sure he doesn't control you, okay? Now, go up to your room, take a nap or something and watch a movie. Think of happy things, okay?" She said, she had tears in her eyes as she spoke. I'm sure it hurt her to see me in so much emotional, mental, and physical pain.

"All right. Thanks, Mom, I love you." I gave her a kiss and went into the house, immediately to follow the orders she gave me.

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