Sorry Not Sorry Daddy | TERRIBLE SPELLING MISTAKES

He Hates Me

I call Jace and text Jay telling him, I'll be back in a day or two. Jace comes not to long after and I enter his car.

"What happened?" He asks as he starts driving

"Jay is really mad at me," my eyes water

"He knows it's today?" He asks

I nod my head, "I made him yell at me, he never yells at me," I say

"What happened?" He asks

"He and his friend went to the back of my sketchbook and saw new drawings. He saw a new couple of cuts and he knows I haven't been sleeping." Tears fall from my eyes, "Camil told him it was his birthday and now he's mad at me," I cry

"Do you still love him?" He asks

I shake my head, "He was going to kill me," I blurt

"Who told you?" He asks

"Camil,"

"Who is he and how would he know?" He asks

"He did it," I tell him, "He killed Austin,"

"Did you tell Jay you were leaving?" He asks

"I'm scared to talk to him but I texted him," I say

"Ms.Dena knows your coming," he says

I nod my head and the rest of the drive is silent.

When we get to the adoption center I step out of the car and walk into the adoption center with my head down as I can't contain the tears falling from my eyes. 

We go into my old room and it looks like nobody move in, everything is in the same place.

"Hannah and I didn't move in. We decided to honor the longest person to ever stay at the adoption center," he says

I laugh lightly even thought tears are still falling from my eyes. I sit on the bed and Jace says he will be back. I burry my head in my knees crying lightly to myself and then the door opens.

About 4 people come into the room sitting by me.

"Is she okay?" Hannah asks and rubs my back

Without thinking I turn and wrap my arms around her tightly hugging her. She hugs me back after a second of shock.

I haven't hugged her in 3 years. I kissed her, I twerked on her but I haven't hugged her in 3 years.

I hugged Jace but it wasn't a real hug, it was just a side hug, saying hi and bye to each other.

"What happened?" Liam asks

"Well Jay knows what today is and he is a little bit mad at her for not twlling him something was wrong because she started drawing again and cutting and she hasn't slept in..." He trails off

"4 days," I mumble into Hannah's chest

"You hide everything to easily," Hannah says

"Does he know where she is?" Liam asks

"He does but she is scared to actually speak to him," he says

"Why? She is never scared to talk to anyone," Hannah says

"I don't know. All I know is that he yelled at her and that has never happened before," he says

I let go of Hannah and put my  head down, "He's disappointed in me," I say softly

"I keep certain things from him so he isn't disappointed in me. It feels worse than when he is mad at me." I cry

"He'll come around," Liam says

"What if he doesn't and he hates me now?" I ask rhetorically

"He doesn't hate you," Jace says

"You don't know that," I say quickly, "do you?" I challenge

He slowly shakes his head, "No." He answers

"I fucking thought so." I say

"I just don't want him to hate me," I say, "I can't deal with you 4 hating me. Not any of you 4." I tell them the truth

"You want us to give you space?" Hannah asks

I nod my head and they leave.

He hates me. He hates me. He hates me.

The words I said as I cut myself before going to sleep.