ｆａｄｅ ａｗａｙ| 𝘢 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

1.

warnings

slight angst! implications of suicide, profanity

if any of these bother you, I advise for you to avoid this book

-

heaving a sigh, tsukishima slightly slumped in his seat. the test results from yesterday were being handed over and he couldn't care less about it. it was always so boring.

through his peripheral vision he saw the seat next to him move slightly, his eyes locked onto a (h/c) haired girl that always seemed to have a bright smile on her face.

"good morning tsukishima-kun, how's your day?" she had asked with such radiance that it made him question how someone could emit so much energy so early in the morning.

"hn"

his grunt was his only response to the cheerful girl, not giving an effort to socialize with anyone at the moment.the girl seemed to notice how he didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment and decided to leave him be, albeit a bit disappointed as her shoulders sagged slightly, though barely anyone could notice. not that they notice you anyway.

moments later his test results appeared on his desk, making the (h/c) haired girl perk up slightly. "how was the test for you, tsukishima-kun?" she asked again, silently praying that he'd atleast answer her with words now

"it was fine, i guess" he shrugged lightly, glancing at the paper that adorned a 100% perfect score.

internally cheering at her success to make the stoic blonde respond with words, she almost forgot about her own test results. almost.

38%

don't get anyone wrong, but (y/n) is a good student, passing homework on time and volunteering for clean up duty from time to time. though, with test results like that, even she considered herself- stupid-mentally challenged . she always questioned how she got into this class and that she sat next to tsukishima, the smartest student in the class.

nevertheless, she smiled brightly "i'm sure you did great tsukishima-kun! you're smart after all" though tsukishima didn't show it, he took great pleasure into the praises that you would direct to him. of course, being a cute girl that would constantly praise you since middle school would have that effect on him.

suddenly his world just got a tiny bit brighter from your praise as he straightened up slightly. he hummed a response and propped his head on his hand, turning to stare outside the window for the rest of the class.

​​​​​​
-

as the bell rang for lunch, the girl went off and disappeared somewhere. like every other time. no one would seem to know where she would run off to at lunch, and frankly no one cared enough to ask.

"tsukki!" yamaguchi called out to his childhood friend, wanting to each lunch together like they do everyday. sitting down on their usual spot, they failed to notice that tsukishima's test paper was nowhere to be seen.

-

"are you looking forward for the future, tsukishima-kun?"

tsukishima kei didn't really care about life, already knowing what was gonna and how things would end up in the future, maybe work in a museum or be a volleyball player in a league or something.

"not really, i already know how things are gonna be so i don't really put much thought into it" he coolly replied, adding a snarky "plus i'd probably live a better life than you"

you laughed. why did laugh? its called being depressed btch

"you're probably right tsukishima-kun" you sheepishly rubbed the back of your head. "but."

"if that's how is, then that's really boring! we should always think about the future, unexpected things always happen that could change, well, everything!"

how weird. but at the same time it was also somewhat endearing. he would never say that out loud, he would rather die in a ditch to be honest with you. but he really can't deny that you rambling was cute.

alas, what you said wouldn't really change his perspective on life. he wanted to disappear, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't find the will to live. call him a cold-hearted fool for wanting to but he wouldn't really care either way. sure he would feel bad about leaving his brother and probably feel worse if he left yamaguchi- he was barely seen without him after all- but for now, anyone else that would make an opinion about it would be given zero fucks.

"ne, were you even listening tsukki?" you sighed, knowing that he obviously wasn't. "don't call me that" was all he said as he turned his attention away once again.

-

"how would you feel if you knew you would disappear right now?" tsukishima quirked an eyebrow and turned to look at you, questioning how such an outgoing and cheerful girl could turn into such a doleful -idiot-person in under a minute.

"it wouldn't matter." was his blunt reply. "even if i died right now, someone would replace me"

a smile formed onto the girls lips, though barely anyone could see the undertone emotion under it, tsukishima got a glimpse before the unknown emotion disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

"yeah. you're right"