ｆａｄｅ ａｗａｙ| 𝘢 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

7.

warnings

slight angst! attempted suicide, profanity, self degradation, slight gore

i do not promote any sort of actions that harm your well being. please take care of yourself. there's only one of you in this world.

if any of these bother you, I advise for you to avoid this book.

THIS BOOK IS NEARING ITS END. IM SORRY BUT I ONLY INTENDED FOR 3-5 CHAPTERS MAX BUT I WANTED CLIFFHANGERS AND SUSPENSE WHICH PROBABLY DIDNT WORK

-

sitting again on his usual spot next to the empty seat that was against the window, tsukishima glanced at the new flowers that sat snugly against the desk.

sigh.

the end of the school year was fast approaching- only a few months left- but the saying 'time heals all' or something didn't apply to him. not at all.

the guilt was surrounding his heart in a vice-like grip and it nearly choked him to death.

he couldn't just stand it anymore.

-

sending multiple text messages to his beloved childhood friend, yamaguchi's face scrunched up as he received no reply. weird, he usually replies as soon as i send it.

yamaguchi made up his mind. he's gonna visit tsukishima kei.

-

oh god.

how did it end up like this?

a rope was hanging on the ceiling, looped and ready- it was practically calling him- but as he glanced at the sharp knife that glinted under the rays of the moonlight, he couldn't help but think about all the good thing's he's done throughout his years of living.

none.

well, maybe some. like standing up for yamaguchi all those years ago when they were children- but that was in the past. maybe when he decided to tutor a couple of idiots for the exams? it was more of an 'i-was-forced-to-help-these-hopeless-idiots' sort of thing. talking to (y/n) and claimed himself as a friend in front of her mother while she's deceased? close enough.

he laughed. the bitter sound that bounced off the walls seemed to make the atmosphere even more eerie. pathetic. he really was pathetic. was there anything else that he did to make it seem like he wasn't a snarky ass all the time?

maybe when he was with (y/n). he acted calmer. he knew he had thrown less insults towards her, but they probably still affected her. he knew that he chose to ignore her so that he wouldn't hurt her feelings. he knew that, but did she?

holding the knife against his forearm, he started to add pressure. he felt his skin being thinly slice open, he felt his blood oozing out as more second had passed. one. two. three. four.

did he pass your favorite number?

wait. he doesn't even know what your favorite number is.

and with that he stopped cutting his skin, watching in slight awe as blood dripped down and stained his wooden floor.

he the glanced at the hanging rope. looking at it in all its glory. it was so tempting. it was his gateway to the afterlife, his gateway to see you again and finally see the smile he misses- but this time it would be real.

he dragged any sort of leverage to keep hold of his weight underneath the rope, checking if it was steady enough- not that it mattered anymore. he once again looked at the rope, finally taking a step towards it. then another- closer this time. until he could finally fit his head through the hole the rope made. he was a tall high schooler after all, he could've easily done it if it weren't for his slight hesitation.

contemplating once, he fir his head through, noting how it seemed to fit him perfectly for his impending death.

with a kick, his only leverage that was keeping him alive was nowhere to be found as he gasped for air. he didn't expect it to be so breathtaking.

pfft. he snorted slightly at his idiotic thoughts, even when death was almost there to greet him he still made a joke.

then, his thoughts went blank as he remembered your face, your (h/c) colored hair that framed your face perfectly. enchanting (e/c) colored orbs that he swears he could stare at the entire day. plump, kissable lips. he was finally gonna see you again.

too caught up with his thoughts, he had failed to noticed the frantic calls for his name, even the pounding on his door was ignored.

did she want this?

something about the disappointed look your face instead of the genuine welcoming smile made his heart ache. he was overwhelmed about the fact that he was struggling to intake any oxygen. he desperately gasped for air again and again and he gripped on the rope that prevented him from doing so. he suddenly has the urge to not die.

i don't want to die..!

"tsukki..!" was all he heard as he blacked out and let the darkness consume him.