ｆａｄｅ ａｗａｙ| 𝘢 𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

6.

warnings

slight angst! implications of suicide, profanity

if any of these bother you, I advise for you to avoid this book

-

apparently, that wasn't a smart thing to ask. as soon as the words left his mouth the older (l/n)- i mean the only (l/n) cuz shes dead now oof im sorry//- stopped everything that she was doing.

"i'm sorry dear, but even we don't know why..." taking in a deep breath, the female smiled sadly

"i'm sorry to cut this short but i think you should go home now"

-

stupid. what the hell were you thinking? asking about her dead daughter who probably struggled to cope with their loss.

tsukishima sighed. again. he's been doing that a lot more ever since your passing and he can tell that it's becoming a bad habit now.

"what am i gonna do now?" he grumbled slightly under his breath, kicking a stray stone on the sidewalk.

passing by various buildings, shops and restaurants alike, he couldn't help but look up towards the sky. just like he did at the rooftop.

he couldn't help but admire how the clear blue skies and the white fluffy clouds complimented each other, both different but the same. endless blue and cropped white. it was breathtaking.

just like your smile.

.

.

.

your smile..?

now that he thought about it, your smile was wide and it reached your eyes but if someone were close enough then they'd notice how your eyes weren't as bright. they'd notice how every slip up you made, every shortcoming, every failed test result that hit you square in the face was covered up by that same smile every time.

they would have noticed if they were friends with you, but they weren't. they would have noticed that you were hurting inside from every criticism thrown your way. they would have noticed how your smiled started to seem more forced each passing day. they didn't notice.

but he sure as hell did.

he noticed you were hurting. he noticed how you ran off every lunch hour to who knows where- now known that it was at the roof- you seemingly wanting to escape as soon as possible. he noticed your hesitation towards knowing your test results.

he noticed.

yet he didn't do a single damn thing about it.

he knew it. he could've stopped you from taking your life all those months ago. but it was too late. too damn late. if it were six months ago he could've comforted you- but that wasn't him at all- maybe even complimented you- probably in the most snarkiest way possible- but it would still somehow reach you!

giving off a pained laugh, he smiled bitterly at himself. great job dumbass. you failed to be a human being. he wanted to beat himself up for this. he was so inconsiderate, so quick to brush off your mental state. he didn't even realize the reason why you died was because no one tried to comfort you for not being enough until six months after you died!

it was all hidden behind your smile.

the smile everyone that thought was real.