SAY YOU SAY ME

CHAPTER 12

The MRI had begun, and Ahaan was scrutinising the brain images. He carefully checked through the images over and over again, and heaved a sigh of relief when he found that there wasn't any blood clot that had formed. The injury was superficial, which meant the blood loss had been profuse. Arushi's body needed blood immediately, and Ahaan sent for it.

Arushi was shifted to the normal cabin, and put on an IV channel that supplied blood. There wasn't a critical situation for Arushi anymore, and that made Ahaan a bit relaxed. But it was Arushi, and not any other patient of his. Once the critical situation had subsided, Ahaan's mind had taken a backseat. Now it was his heart that was raging with emotions.

Ahaan came to the cabin Arushi was in. She was lying down, still unconscious, due to the sedatives under action. The IV was going on, and every parameter was within the optimum range. Ahaan came and sat on the sofa by the side of Arushi's bed. It had been a really tiring day for him, but he wasn't really physically tired as much as he was mentally. Seeing Arushi in the injured state he couldn't really be at peace. He always wanted to see her the way she was at work, an eastern attire, hair tied up into a bun, sometimes into a plait, dangling earrings, eyes outlined in kohl and a slight tint of red colour in the lips. He wanted to see her frowning at him, making faces, answering in the sarcastic tone she used with him.

Arushi always reminded him of his childhood memories, of all the moments that they had shared. The friendship, the happy moments, the quarrels, everything. She had always been that girl he was head over heels for, the girl he absolutely adored. Arushi was so effortless in her friendship, so chirpy and bubbly. She could keep negativity miles away. With her Ahaan could actually be what he was before, happy and peaceful. She was the girl he always wanted in her life, that effortless drift of wind, peaceful yet bubbly, calm yet chirpy.

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Ahaan had stretched his head over the sofa rail, eyes closed, when the door of the cabin flung open. It was Arjun accompanied by Khala.

Khala entered the cabin, on one side she could see her Aru, lying on a bed, unconscious, and on the other side was Ahaan, whom she had lost ten years ago. She didn't know what to do, what to say. Her eyes were already sore, she had been crying all her way, but at that moment, she burst into a bout of tears.

Ahaan went close to Khala. Ten years had passed and an awkward distance had been created between them. The duo that once used to dance to Bollywood numbers, cooked dishes together, shared every kind of jokes had developed this distance that had left both of them numb. Neither did Ahaan know what to say, nor did Khala. With Ahaan and Khala meeting, down came the memories of another one, the one who had gone to the space none of them could reach.

Khala went over to Arushi. She sat at the stool, just beside her bed, caressing her hair. She gently kissed her forehead. Arushi was that person in her life who had been with her, when she had none, not even Ahaan. She had stayed with her through thick and thin, and together, they had come so far. She couldn't see her Aru lying on a hospital bed, unconscious.

Khala's voice was choking as she asked Ahaan what had happened to her. Ahaan handed her a glass of water, and told her all that had taken place in these days. From his coming to Bangalore to today's riot, he told Khala all. She had the right to know everything.

Khala could very well understand why Arushi didn't mention Ahaan to her. She had always been this shield to Khala. She had wanted to protect Khala from Ahaan. But how do you even need protection from the person you love? Yes, seeing Ahaan in front of her eyes reminded her of the past, of her pains, of the precious soul she had lost. But it also reminded her of how Ahaan was her son, not biological but emotional. She had a cherished relationship with Ahaan, the one she had missed through these ten years. Ahaan, standing in front of her brought back all those memories.

Ahaan left the cabin, and went outside. Khala needed her own space to accept Ahaan's presence. He knew that ten years had been quite long, and in this time it was Arushi who took care of Khala, rejuvenated her, and gave her a new life. Ahaan was nowhere during those ten years, he was busy coping up with his emotions, his grief, his guilt. Now his sudden appearance would obviously be uneasy to Khala, just like it had been to Arushi. He just hoped Khala didn't hate him, like Arushi did. He couldn't deal with more hate in his life.

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Ahaan was sitting on one of the chairs, outside Arushi's cabin. He had asked Arjun to go back home. He had done what he could. Ahaan was talking to his manager, Mr Sen, the one who scheduled all appointments and operations.

"Mr Sen, are there any operations scheduled for the next two days?"

"No sir, any problem sir."

"Any appointments that are on the urgency list?"
"None that I know of sir."

"Okay thank you Mr Sen. I won't be able to visit INB for the next two days. Some personal commitments. Please reschedule all my appointments."

"Sure sir."

"Thank you Mr Sen."

Ahaan had just hung up the phone when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, the touch which was so old, yet so new. He turned to see Khala sitting beside him. He noticed her eyes, it was moist, it spoke so many words, and it asked so many questions. If there was answer to any of those questions, it was only a "sorry"; no amount of explanation could answer them.

"Ahaan!"

Hearing this name escape from Khala's lips, Ahaan couldn't stand any longer. He felt the warm tears down his face. All these years of loneliness, of pain, of grief expressed itself through his tears. He had fought with pain all life long, and it was at this point that he broke.

"Sorry, Khala, I am so sorry."

Ahaan knew that there wasn't anything more he could say. There wasn't anyone who could understand the "why" behind his behaviour. None. And he had lost all his strength to explain. It was only a "sorry" that he could say, in the hope that it would fix things. He wanted to fix things, wanted to get back all he had, his Khala, his Arushi. But there wasn't any hope left for him, none that he could see.

Ten years of distance had developed between Ahaan and Khala, but that did not stop her from understanding him. Khala didn't know why Ahaan had left, why he never came back in all these years, but she knew this for sure that he didn't mean wrong. Even after all these years, Khala knew she could blindly trust her Ahaan.

"I missed you, Khala."
"So why didn't you come back to me?"
"Couldn't come, I had closed that door myself."
"My door will never closed for you, never Ahaan. Whatever you do, wherever you go, you can always come back to me."

"Aru has been with you all this while, right?"
"Yeah. We shifted together to Bangalore during her doctoral."

"And in Delhi?"

"I gave up the apartment, I couldn't live there anymore, and it wasn't possible for me. Aru's dad arranged a much smaller one, near their neighbourhood. I shifted there. And Aru, she used to come regularly, she used to spend more time with me than with her parents."

Khala continued-"She pulled me from the dark, showed me light, provided me comfort and closure. And this life that I live now, is what she has given me. She became my daughter, my light, my everything."

It was at this moment that Ahaan realised Arushi's pain, which was hidden from the world. Arushi had been there for Khala, her comfort and closure protected Khala from the intense pain. But she didn't have anyone who could provide her the same, who could protect her from the pain she was feeling, the pain that she couldn't express. It was Ahaan she needed, and it was he who had left.

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