it takes a determined person
to work for what they want,
get it,
and leave.
but it takes a good person,
a distinguished one,
to get what they want
yet choose to stay afterwards to see what else comes.
...
how could i lose myself in all of this
when i'm the only one
that gets myself through those relentless 1 ams,
now 2,
3 is no longer abnormal.
riddled with hauntings
of what should have been.
...
i think i have to turn you into a monster, love.
for without that label,
all i am is a woman
who could not keep a good man.
...
if you cannot respect me as a human,
how could you ever keep me as a love?
...
if you knew how close i came to reentering your life on friday,
i had it all typed out,
but i realized
and internalized
and mumbled
and reminded
i cannot selfishly reach out only when i need you.
i will most certainly feel the aftereffects of your absence,
after all,
it is a need.
but
how many times have you told yourself no just to save me?
the thought makes me shudder
and i apologize.
i should have to endure the exposure to your progress in order to witness the comfort of your presence.
i am simply a desperate yet composed addict
longing to be appeased
thank you for choosing to be the bigger man in all the moments i do not see or know of.
- i just want to cave.
YOU ARE READING
ruby
Poetrypoems about the next stage of my life, hopefully about new experiences but also about hanging onto something the heart has desperately longed for and isn't quite ready to give up
