Abigail Higgins ||Grown Ups||

Chapter Three

"Sit down!" Mr. Feder shouted at everybody.

We were at a restaurant that I've only ever been to about two other times. I sat in between Mr. Lamonsoff and Greg. It was nice and loud. There was a homey feel to it. And it smelled mouth watering.

"Hey, Lenny, remember we used to come here in high school late night after we got wasted?" My dad asked as he was taking his seat. I mentally face palmed.

Puberty Guy nudged my dad and gestured to us kids.

"What's 'wasted'? Donna asked.

"Nice one, Higgie." Mr. Feder started sarcastically under his breath, "Wasted, kids....is something that happens....when you have a hankering for ice cream." Lenny informed making a weird face. My eyes got wide. Whatever I expected him to say, it sure wasn't that.

"I wanna get wasted!”

There was: "I wanna get totally wasted!”

And: "I wanna get wasted every single day of my life!”

Then: "I wanna get chocolate wasted!" Becky called. Her big doe eyes sparkling. Aww, how adorable!

"No you don't need to get wasted, its okay." Mrs. Feder told her daughter.

Just then, the waitress came up to the table. 

"All right," Mr. Lamonsoff started spotting the woman, ”You know what, let me make this easy. Uh, eighteen burgers and seventeen fries, okay? And uh, that'll be just for me. What are you guys having?" He got random calls and chuckles. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's for everybody. Just put it on that." He handed the woman a credit card.

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Mr. Feder assured him.

"I am not gonna have any hamburgers. I'll take some meatloaf, some calzones--but put the marinara sauce on the side, uh, with corn, either on the cob or whatever you got." Mama was cut off by my dad.

"What, are you going into the electric chair?"

"What?" She asked, clearly confused.

"No, he was just kidding, Henry the 8th." Mr. Feder said, deciding to jump in.

"She's eating for two: her and Toe-bo Cop.” Mr. McKenzie added.

"But, Mama, they do have bunion rings if you want some." Everyone was laughing at this point.

"That was good, Lenny." Mrs. McKenzie said.

"How about some drinks?" The waitress said.

I forgot she was here and almost fell out of my seat, but Greg caught my arm. I guess I looked pretty funny because he started to laugh. I elbowed him and he stopped. I guess I would have laughed to, my eyes were wide and my arms were flailing around to find something to hold onto.

"Hey, I said I'm paying, so take it easy with that, okay? I'm kidding, everybody. I'm kidding. We can all drink all we want. I'll start it off. I'm gonna have a Coke. And I know Donna, she's gonna want a Sprite." Donna nodded her head, "And, uh, Bean's good with milk, obviously." I had to smile at that, he looked so embarrassed.

"I want cookies!” Bean yelled.

"Cookies and MILF." Dad said.

"MILF? Oh, Higgins, thank you so much." Mrs. Lamonsoff thanked. What's MILF?

"Take it easy, all right? Hey, tuck it away, sweetie." Mr. Lamonsoff said.

"I'll have a Coke." I said.

"And I'll take a flat water. Voss." I turned to look at him my eyebrows furrowed.

"What?" She asked.