Not the kids!

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After my swift parkour escape I entered the house. I still needed to wait out my excitement.

1 hour later

Still like a rock. Damnit. Well I guess I should go already. I walked to her room but before I could knock I heard a yelp. I heard rapid breathing and even another sound I had hoped to never hear again, moaning. I wasn't pleased. I thought she was the good apple of the barrel but it's spring so this is normal behavior with the females. Oh well. I'll hit the forest for a bit. I jumped out my window and into the tree. I continued tree hopping for hours. All I could think of was the events from earlier. The fact that Celestia tried to rape me only fueled the flames of my hatred for her. My eye lit on fire at the mere thought of it. Luna was Celestia's ally in this war as was Cadance and the six. Suddenly I heard a twig snap. I stopped myself by landing on the ground and safety rolling into the bushes. I peeked out and saw Equestrian soldiers. Both Luna's and Celestia's. There were 20 of each side at the least. I decided to screw with them. I transformed back to my original state and jumped in. They knew the legend well and knew my form. I jumped in and said

Jinx: Hola.

Rs1: Who's there?!

Rs3: All Ents are to evacuate these lands!

Rs10: Come quietly and peacefully and we will escort you to the Everfree Woods!

Jinx: *chuckle* No, I don't think so. I'm the Ents' ally. I hate Celestia. The legends are true.

Rs2: what do you mean?

Jinx: Zam'Luna.

Rs15: Jinx Zam'Luna?!?!

Jinx: Bingo.

Rs20: RUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!!

Jinx: Aww, nopony wants to play with me!

They ran away in a group so I ran behind them. I was gradually gaining on them so I decided to fly. I used a Come-To-Life spell on the trees so they could form a natural barrier. Then I started running again behind them but now in the trees. I was tree hopping behind them. They seemed happy now that they couldn't see me but one eagle eyed soldier looked up.

Jinx: Hi.

Rs13: He's in the trees! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! RUUUUUUUUNNN!!!

I continued toying with them for 2 hours before I levitated them. I flew up in front of them and said

Jinx: This was fun, but our time together is over now and I must return to my 'home' now. Return home. Leave the forest, the Ents are my allies and you are against them. If you wish to keep your souls leave. NOW!!!

They screamed and ran away. I chuckled and flew up to find home. I saw it was 94 miles away and decided to run the whole way there. I got into position and sprinted down the path created by the running soldiers. 15 minutes passed and I've gone 36 miles so far so I'm sprinting at 144mph. Yay! New record!

Long while later (I am not about to do the math for this sh*t)

I have finally reached the house. I look at the barn after using an x-ray spell and saw the others were still in the fucking barn, and Applebloom was still going at it.

Jinx: Which is my best bet?

???: Hide yourself again, that's the first thing you should do.

Jinx: Huh? Who's there!?

Granny: Just me.

Pause

Jinx: You knew?

Granny: Since the beginning Sonny.

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