sorry can't save me now. [18]

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a n g s t

this imagine depicts
suicidal thoughts/attempt.
if this bothers you,
please don't read.
if this hits close to
home, my dm's
are open.

i love you.
you got this.
:)




listen before i go; billie eilish.



    It's been so long, so long since you've been suffering. Every day felt like it didn't matter, every day felt pointless. You were always tired, sometimes you ate too much, somtimes you eat nothing at all.

You were numb, so cold.

Ever since your parents broke apart, your father was sweet still, but he was always busy. When he came around, it'll only be for a few minutes, and he'd leave again for maybe weeks on end with no letters at all.

Your mother started focusing on herself, which you were glad for, but she started wasting money on her clothes, makeup. She started bringing men to your so called home. She never cared.

So, you started working harder on school work, to catch both of their attention, but you only made it harder for yourself because they seemed to not care.

You had friends, but even though they were your friends, they seemed to not care about you.

You sorta just felt okay with it, though it simply did hurt. Harry, he was already struggling with Voldermort stuff. Hermione... she was busy being smart, Ron? You guessed that you both weren't as close as your first three years of Hogwarts.

You loved them, your friends and family. They never cared abour that as well.

And... you really loved him.

But he left, you. Left because he wasn't being open as much, and you tried your best to be there for him.

Draco broke your heart, and left without saying anything. No excuses, nothing.

So... how does it feel? Now that you've lost everything but yourself?

It felt... like nothing.

You were trapped in an unavoidable void of nothing. Pitch black but yourself. Your thoughts gnawing away at your mind, as you slowly loose grip of yourself and your will to live.



It was your sixth year, and to add to your depression, the only place you felt at peace with was lingered with disturbance, since the Dark Lord has risen. They tracked your mother and asked her to be a death eater, of course, being the woman your mother had molded herself to be.. gladly accepted. She even dragged you lower by forcing you to become one as well.

Now this time you felt absolutely stranded. And you were still upset over Draco breaking off things a few weeks with you.

So, you were thinking.. why not just end it all? No more pain, no more suffering.

So today, you woke up and put a smile on, just for today.

You walked around and said hi to people. You ate your favorite snacks and food because it was going to be the last of time.

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