Wingless (KuroTsuki)

15

Kuroo was flying away, strong wings sending him up into the endless expanse of sky. Flying had always been effortless for him, but today it was anything but. With powerful movements he ascended, not further across the earth, away but up and up and up. Up in the sky where the air was thinner and it was harder to breathe and the whole world was below him, where he was the one in complete control of his life. The tears stung at his eyes and between the sobs and the panting and the air it was harder to breathe.

And so, at one point he just stopped flying.

For a moment he was frozen in time, dark wings spread and body arched gracefully, and the next he was falling, beginning his swift descent towards the ground. The wind whipped around him and his already teary eyes stung and watered more.

Kei watched as Tetsurou fell, his heart aching and breaking even more, and he wished that he had wings so he could leap off the building and catch him, but he was completely useless. He closed his eyes and wept, not wanting to see what happened, not understanding what was going on, because first Tetsurou had cried, and then he had run, and now this.

And then, the air around him seemed to shift as with powerful strokes — unmistakably the movement of wings — wind and a few loose feathers were sent swirling around him. He heard the sobs, that horribly familiar and heart wrenching sound, and he found himself in Kuroo's arms. "I'm sorry, Kei, I'm so sorry. I'm scared, I don't know what to do or how to help and I hurt you and — fuck, I'm such a mess — and I just ran because I didn't know what else to do and I didn't know and I just didn't want to lose you or be the reason that I lost you and everything's just so hard and-"

The third year sobbed and pulled Kei closer, continuing to ramble as he cried and tried to explain himself. Tsukishima was crying as well, whatever it was that Kuroo was saying having stopped making sense as he thought about everything. Maybe he hadn't messed things up, because Tetsu came right back to him, Tetsu was here now and he was holding him close and apologising for something that Kei thought he didn't need to apologise for.

"I love you, Tetsu," he mumbled, cupping his cheeks and giving him a small smile through his tears. "You came back, I'm glad. How are we supposed to help each other if you don't answer when I call you? Tetsurou, you idiot, stop scaring me like that! I love you and you love me, so even if I'm sad I'll be here for you. We'll get through it together, that's what'll make me happy, so stop crying and tell me what's wrong. Then you can help me with my issues, Tetsu." It hurt him even more to see that face so full of sadness and guilt, tan cheeks tear stained and hazel eyes glossy and watering. He wanted to see him smiling again, just like he had when Kei had woken up that morning.

Tetsurou's eyes widened a little, and a few more tears slipped out, which Kei brushed away with his thumbs. "Oh, Kei," he whispered, his voice so small compared to how it usually was. "I love you, I really do." Placing his hands on top of the blond's smaller ones, he continued to speak. "I'm sorry for running, I should have come when you called me the first time. I know I already said this, but I was just scared. I didn't want to upset you or make things worse, and I didn't know what to do to help you, what would be best. It's really hard for me, seeing you like this, when all I want for you is to be happy. I can't help but blame myself, since I'm never there when you really need me and when I am I don't know how to help as much as Bokuto or Yamaguchi. I can't help but feel useless sometimes."

Kei frowned at that and shook his head, sitting up so that he was kneeling, yet still cupping his cheeks. He pressed a few gentle kisses to Tetsurou's forehead and then one to the tip of his nose. "I know that I've made things hard, I know that when I fall into one of my episodes that it's scary, and I know I'm not the easiest person to look after. I'm sorry for hurting you, for worrying you and for making you cry. But I know that you don't blame me for struggling, that you don't mind helping me even when it hurts you to see me this way because you want to be there for me, and I need you to know that I don't blame you for being upset and getting overwhelmed either. Tetsu, it's hard for you, especially with me being the way I am. Maybe there are times when other people can look after me in a way that you don't know how, but I can promise you, that doesn't make you useless. There are ways that they can't help me that you can, things that only you can do to help me feel better. You won't always be able to help me, that's the reality of it. You can't change the past, nor can you change the fact that after today we'll be hours away from each other, but that doesn't change the fact that you love me and it doesn't stop you from being able to help me. It just means you have to help me in a different way than if we were in person, Tetsu. It was never going to be easy, it never has been, but we'll make it work together."