Outcast (A Nashton Based 5SOS/1D AU Fanfiction)

Crack Jokes, Pull Pranks, And Make Funny Faces

AN: Sorry for the late update. I've been stuck in bed with influenza type A, which sucks. But, I should be better soon. I'll try to make this good, even though I don't feel it. I've been living off of clementines and apple juice for like a week, so don't blame me! :) xox

Let's just say, Ashton was very surprised the next morning to find himself all cuddled up next to Luke. Luckily, when he removed the blanket to return to his room, he was fully clothed even though Luke barely had anything covering his bum. He looked around the room for his shoes, noticing that Calum and Michael weren't there, replaced by a brunette he could only see the back of, and left to go back to his room.

But, Ashton was even more surprised when he got back to his and Niall's room and found the bitchy blonde and the nicer, brunette lad who had treated him with kindness. His mouth dropped in shock, and he found himself trying to be as quiet as possible. He knew all hell would break loose if Niall woke up, even if it was Ashton's room, too. Niall would accuse him of snooping and call him more terrible names, and he'd probably make Ashton cry again, too.

It's not that Ashton was weak, that wasn't why he cried. It was because when people insulted him, or bullied him, the voices in his  head grew too loud. They called him fat, ugly, disgusting. They called him that because that was what he was, but that didn't mean he liked it when people agreed with the voices in his head.

All he used to want as a child was to make everyone around him to be happy. He would crack jokes, pull pranks, and make funny faces. When he was eight, before everything went south, his aunt came over with a baby. The little infant baby girl wouldn't stop crying. Everyone was getting annoyed with the incessant wailing, so his mother sent the girl to another room with Ashton, the only child who was even old enough to not drop a baby on its head. So, he took the child into the room and played peek-a-boo with her. He had never played it with anyone before,  so it was as amusing to him as it was to the eight-month old. He loved the way she gurgled as she laughed and the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. He loved his baby cousin so much.

But that was over now. He was sure that if she saw him now, she wouldn't even remember him. And, even if she did, she'd be horrified by him. Ashton was gross. Ashton was used. Ashton was broken. Ashton was scarred.

As soon as he had grabbed everything he needed, he scurried to the public showers that he abhorred using. He could only hope that it was still early enough that they would be empty. He felt like everyone always stared at him when he was naked. Sure, they were same-gender showers, but that didn't make it any better. He always felt like everyone stared at his body that was littered with scars. Nasty scars. Anyone that said scars were beautiful, was lying. They're nasty things. Sure, they tell a story, but they, especially these specific ones, don't tell a good one. A person shouldn't be ashamed of them, Ashton surely wasn't, but they shouldn't call them pretty or beautiful, either. Because they simply weren't.

Unfortunately, he heard the showers running when he walked in. Hell, it was six o'clock in the morning. Who else but Ashton got up this early?

Turns out, it was the over-muscled lad from Niall's group. Ashton wanted to turn back, maybe go back by Luke's room and crawl back into his bed, and just cuddle away all of his fears, but it was too late, he had already been seen.

So, Ashton stripped and turned on his own personal showerhead, turning the faucet all the way to hot. One of the benefits of being first to shower is that he always had burning hot water. His cheeks burned as he felt the other lad's eyes staring at him, but he brushed it off as he relished the burning feeling of the water.

"Why do you have all those?"

Ashton jumped as he heard the boy's voice as he tried to make conversation while they were in the shower. Plus, that was a blunt question that was quite rude.