( 5 YEARS AFTER )
NIGHT HAD FALLEN fast upon the land. no more than an hour ago the sky was painted with hues of red, orange, and pink; but all color had faded leaving only a matte black canvas with no stars to look upon. the cold onshore breeze blew right through hoseok's sweater as he bowed his head to one side, closing his lashes to keep out the salty sting. the dampness of the sand was making it's way through his skinny jeans and he took deep breaths filling his lungs with the most needed oxygen. his wet hair fell loose about his face. under the fading sun it appeared brown, the honey blonde streaks lost to the night.
he could hear the waves lapping like the ticking of more leisurely clock- reminding him of the old times.
he looks up at the sky and studies the silver glow of the moon. she seems to smile down at him with a love so intense, it warmed hoseok's soul like a fireplace on a cold winter's night. and there he was, standing on the shore to escape his mind, the tranquil overflow of dilemma back in the studio.
but the look that the moon gave him, couldn't help the storm going inside of him.
he sighs as he exits the beach, heading back to his studio- with his mind blur with possibilities- each more fanciful than the next. nevertheless these days, his dance academy wasn't doing so well. most of his trainees were unwell, and those local newspapers blamed it on the owner, hoseok.
he didn't want to loose his studio. it was all he had left as a memory of bangtan. no. he couldn't. he went inside, and stood infront of those big mirrors which reflected the entire body of his, making him shameful and bringing the urge to hide himself.
kicking his right leg forward with pointed toes and flexed calf muscles, the honey blonde boy pivoted in a revolving whirl of sharp precision and accurate grace. he wanted this as badly as he wanted to breathe. the entirety of his being began advancing in movement with purposeful clarity and absolute control. with each poised stride he took, it became crippling obvious just how demanding and rigorously punishing the practice of this sequence had been on his body.
to dance was freedom, to dance was to become an opening flower or a bird aloft. to feel the movement was new breath for my body and nourishment for a soul so tired. he could dance until the sweat dripped to the polished wood and his reflection showed pink cheeks. after that sleep came easy and the dreams were of more twirls and leaps to the music that was part of his blood.
"hello love", minguk's husky voice hollered in his ears that made him stop at his tracks. standing at the door was his boyfriend, the person who was the only thing that ever mattered to him- after bangtan and army. hoseok gives him a sweet smile, as he softly pants for breath, sweat trickling down his neck, to his chest.
minguk came up to him, passing him the towel, as they both kissed, "let's go home sunshine, it's late" he says as they both pulled away. hoseok just nodded, wiping off his face, which now looked honey kissed.
as the broadway lights somewhat blinds their visions, both of them take small, slow strides to their way home.
"i miss them, minguk" hoseok says as he shuts his eyes close and rests his head on minguk's shoulders. "i know." he said. "you miss them even more today" he cupped hoseok's cheeks as he looked into his eyes.
"you all are forever. bangtan forever, you used to say? you guys might not be able to see each other, but you are here" he points at hoseok's chest, "together"
"i miss jeongguk too." he says.
"just the thought of him makes me upset. we were brothers. it just makes me frustrated that he's not here." hoseok's voice begins to choke on the emotion. "i can't grieve over him before accepting that he's gone. digging his grave and going to his funeral- it didn't give me closure, you know? sometimes i can't believe that he's not going to come jumping like an idiot and laughing at me for falling for his prank."
he finally cried. he let those tears fall from his damned eyes that watched jeongguk take his last breath. he stopped in his tracks and smashed his balled fists repeatedly to the ground to the point his knuckles started bleeding. minguk came running as he hugged the boy, who tried to pry himself out of his boyfriend's grip.
minguk sighs as he pushed hoseok away, forcing him to stand up. he wiped hoseok's tears as he continued to sob, "please, sshh. don't cry. he wouldn't be very happy to see you crying, right?"
hoseok sniffed as they both continued walking.
it was in the quieter moments of silence that minguk understood the people beneath their troubles.
