Prologue

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"So don't wipe your eyeTears remind you you're alive

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"So don't wipe your eye
Tears remind you you're alive.

It's alright to die, cause
That's the only thing you
haven't tried."

[Ed Sheeran - Even my dad does sometimes]

~~~~

It's funny how...

how ironic we can be when we feel pain.

It's when sometimes it just doesn't feel right anymore but deep down inside us, we keep finding reasons not to do it. Not to hurt ourselves.

We keep finding reasons to be happy.

"I want to end this pain but I'm not strong enough."

Pain can be quite fascinating, you know. It makes you feel, it makes you see, it makes you scream, cry, laugh. It makes you wanna do things you never knew you could, or you're not even sure you can but you would. It makes you want to do nothing at the same time.

It sucks how fucked up people's lives can be. We're born normal, we grow up still as normal as we can be because we're clueless. But then, the more things we know, the more things we do, the more we realize it's not all rainbows and cupcakes.

It sucks.

There's no reason for him to keep holding on. He can't keep on trying to hold on.

Fuck it. It's now or never.

"Stop it. Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking about it. Look at me, only me." He looks up to see her face. From her eyes, to her nose all the way to her lips, he lets himself get lost at the sight of her.

It almost seemed like they've known each other for years. It didn't matter. For them, it didn't matter even though they only knew about each other's existence for the shortest time. Barely strangers.

All his thoughts disappeared, Just like that. The thought of her eases him. It's like she had control over him everytime she was around. It was surreal, how she makes all his worries go away and make him want to focus on her only.

He finds the words to say to her. "Okay." He voices out, in a quiet whisper. "Thank you for making it stop, even just for now."

"What?"

"The pain, the longing, the loneliness."

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