High Hopes || Hyungwonho

s o n g | t w e n t y n i n e

Hoseok

"Do you think she'll like it?", Jooheon asked and nibbled on his bottom lip, observing his new tattoo as good as he could. He wanted to have it on his triceps and to be honest - it looked more than cool. 

I smiled and stretched out my index finger to place it near the wounded skin. "It's amazing Jooheon." 

"But?" I could clearly hear the nervousness coming along with the one said word.

He must be going through so much pain right now. 

"But", I begun and sighed once before I continued. "... Jooheon, listen." 

"Yes?" 

"Are you sure you want her to see?", I carefully asked and pulled my hand back again. It wasn't my intention to hurt him more. For real - all I wanted him to be was happy, but it was pretty unrealistic for him to get happy with her. "You don't know how she'll react and I really want to protect you from those harsh words she might use on you. After all, you're still her student." 

A sad chuckle escaped his throat. "You're probably right. It would surely make her uncomfortable. It's already more than embarrassing - a student getting a tattoo for his professor and then even burden her with it?" 

I sighed. "I'm sorry. It must be hard for you." 

"But that's exactly what I want." 

"Huh?"

"Even though I'm more than sure that she'll reject me, that she'll probably call me crazy and naive for doing something like this so carelessly without thinking about the consequences, that she'll probably call out my age and blame me for being young - even though I know all that, I still want her to know. I still want her to see who I am doing this all for. I want her to see, that she's someone special to me. I want her to know that I like her." 

His cheeks lifted with every word leaving his lips. He looked adorable smiling like this, a light blush on his cheeks. 

"I fucking want her to know that I like her. I don't know if it makes sense to you - but it does to me. And if I ruin that chance for me, I'm sure I can't forgive myself for that." 

His voice sounded so stable and strong, I could feel the goosebumps growing on my skin. And as I sat there, listening to his words, watching him smile and chuckle as the tattoo artist covered his tattoo to protect his red skin - I catched myself getting more and more envious. 

Because, 

I really wanted to be as brave as him. 

- 

"Hyungwon's already asleep.", Kihyun welcomed me as he opened the door for me, even though I held the key in my hand, ready to put it into the lock. 

Wasn't creepy at all. 

"Okay. Thanks for telling me.", I simply answered and pressed myself through the small space Kihyun created while holding the door open. 

He surely did it on purpose, so that my arm would touch his, but I couldn't care less at the moment. 

"Do you want some wine?", the brown haired man asked as he closed the door behind me. 
I reached down to untie my laces and shook my head. 

"No thanks." 

"Are you sure? It's a good one." 

"Fuck.", I mumbled and stood up, one feet already slipped out of the shoe, the other one still halfway in it. "No, Kihyun. I don't care how good it is, I don't want wine and I don't want a kiss or a blowjob or what else you would be willing to do - I just want to cuddle me into the same bed with Hyungwon, kiss his fucking shoulder and feel the warmth his body will give me, so if you would fucking excuse yourself and leave me alone, that would be really really great."