Unbreak Me

★CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE★

ZAYN
Wedding night.
I imagined many things for this night but none of them was actually what was happening. For one, I was stupidly tired; tired enough that I ripped off my jacket and tie and left the buttons of my shirt undone. And two, I was damn frickin' pissed.
Mostly, though, I was just tired.
Since we had busted all the traditions anyway, I didn't mind breaking another one.
"You guys can leave," I muttered to the girls—who the heck were they anyway? I'd never before met them.
All of them giggled at once, making my ears bleed. "How can we leave so soon?" I hated the teasing lilt to their voices. Who gave them the right to speak in a flirtish manner?
Leia stood from the bed, gathering her skirt between two fistfuls. "Leave, guys. I'll see you soon. I'll take Abdar Rahman from you."
They exchanged looks. "He'll sleep with you here?" Hoor asked, confusion clear.
I pointedly cleared my throat. "Not to be mean, but this seriously is none of your business. Please, we are tired." Just get the heck out of here.
She huffed, rolling her eyes, handed over Abdar Rahman to Leia and left along with the other girls. I shut the door after them, locking it to ensure nobody came to annoy us. Hopefully, they'd all left by now. Just to be sure, I sent a quick text to my guard to ensure nobody lurked around.
"Zayn, can we talk?" Her voice was a torture I wasn't willing to go through.
"Not now,"
"Zayn, please. Don't ruin this special night for both of us. You're overreacting."
My chest heaved as I turned to face her. I let out a rough laugh. "Overreacting? Go to hell." I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth.
Unable to bear the hurt on her face and the innocence of Abdar Rahman as he blinked at me, I growled, heading towards the bathroom.
"Don't say things you would later regret," Her voice was so quiet, I was almost unable to hear it. Still, it stopped me in my tracks. "You humiliated me in front of the whole school, betted on my virtue with your friends and I wasn't even allowed to write stupid things in my diary? That's mighty of you."
I closed my eyes. Shit. Turning to face her again, I despised myself for putting those tears in her eyes. I was such a reckless, damned bastard.
She carefully laid Abdar Rahman on the bed, stroking his puffy cheek. Then straightened, eyes locking with mine. "The first chance you get, you misunderstand and refuse to even listen to my explanations. Some great level of trust we have."
Shit shit shit. What was I doing?
Nothing was happening right.
Swallowing, I took a step forward hesitantly. My ego wasn't allowing me to go further. Yet I did. I walked towards her and sat next to her.
"I . . ."
She gave me a death stare, expression stoic even though traces of tears hung below her eyes. "Did you come to your senses?"
Hesitantly, I extended my hand towards her and surely she moved back, crossing her arms.
"Sorry. Just seeing that . . . I . . . it was so hard to imagine that someone like you would marry someone like me and seeing that written down, I believed it. Of course, I did, Leia. How can you willingly be mine? How can I . . . Shit, I'm so sorry."
She shook her head, tears spilling. "You think saying sorry would be enough? You've ruined what was supposed to be the best day of my life. When I wrote that I was just angry. Honestly, I never even had the slightest intention of marrying you for revenge. This is not a movie, Zayn. It's my life."
I ran my fingers through my hair, disarraying the strands. "I know. I've been a total douchebag and you have the right to be angry. Shit, what was I even thinking?"
"I don't want to see you."
ZAYN
It was like a wound to the heart. "What?"
"I can't bear to see your face, Zayn."
"I'm sorry,"
"You should be. After all that we've been through, if this is your level of trust, I don't know if you know me at all."
"Leia, I—"
She laughed. I wasn't sure if she was crying or laughing at first until the sobs started coming in. I grabbed her hand and placed them around my neck, squeezing.
"I'd rather you kill me," Her hand shook but she didn't resist. I started feeling the blood draining to my head, making me dizzy. "I'd rather die than see you cry, Leia. I'm sorry. I suck. I'm the worst husband. I won't ask for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. Just don't—for the sake of God—don't be sad because of me."
Her lips trembled. "I thought you were different than Ammar. Turns out all men are the same." She laughed, this broken sound, and it felt like someone tore apart my chest. My eyes watered and I didn't care one bit that I was crying. "Someday, you would hit me too."
"I would never," I didn't even recognize my own voice. "You know I would never."
"If there's something I learned today it's that we don't know each other at all. I don't know what you can do in anger. I don't know what you can do just because you're insecure."
I squeezed my hand over hers tighter and all the breath was knocked out of me.
"Please . . . kill me . . ." I wheezed. "You don't know . . . what hearing those words . . . is doing to me,"
She tried to slip her hand from in between mine but I held it firmly around my neck.
"Zayn," Even though I was such a damned bastard, she was still worried. She still cared. I truly didn't deserve her. "Stop. Okay. It's okay. Please. Just stop."
Our faces were inches apart and suddenly the temperature of the room seemed to increase ten degrees. My grip loosened and subsequently, so did hers. Coughs racked through me but I was too immersed in Leia. There was no one as beautiful as her. She was perfect. She was mine.
"Promise me," she said, eyes sealed with mine. "Promise me you wouldn't hurt me again. Promise me this was the last time, Zayn."
"I promise," I meant every word from the core of my heart. "I would never, ever, be the reason for your tears. Never again."
She stared at me for the beat of what felt like forever. Then sighed. "Okay."
I would never stop feeling shitty for what I'd ruined.
"Okay." I echoed.

•••
IT HAS BEEN SO SOO LONG 😭
As I've mentioned earlier, my wattpad had some issues so I haven't been able to open it for the past month.
We've gained 16k more readers in that time! Also, I've read your messages and comments and have tried to respond to everyone.
It's so nice to see you again 💕