Melodies in my Head

A Note

My darling, my mate
My only one to be
I'm luckier, that I've met you,
Than I have ever been

You make my sun shine
And you make my nights glow
You make me so flustered,
Even though I never showed

You were my candle
When all lights went out
You waited when I called
And calmed me when I'd shout

My dearest, my beacon,
You guided my every step
I can't start to count
How deep am I in dept

You smiled when I needed
And you sat by and listened
I looked in your eyes
And with pride they glistened

My beloved, my adored,
I would never forget,
The little chats that we had
What was heard louder, unsaid

Your scent on my pillow
And your belongings at my place
Your pencils in my drawers,
Your books in my books case

But my cherished, my prised
I am sorry to say
I wish that this finds you
In good health, I pray

Forgive me, for I'm parting
And it's not you, it's me
I can't help it anymore
I'm not what I used to be

My precious, forgive
For I wished I found a way
A better and less sadder
News to convey

I tried my level best,
To keep smiling and not show
But I knew it happened
I watched it crawl slow

A little ant in the dark
In the night black as ink
It crawled on a stone
At the rivers brink

Slowly and painfully
I settled in my head
That I couldn't lift it,
Until you said

My esteemed, I realised,
At mind I was a slave
It sit straight, look brighter
When you'd tell me to behave

I used to be a the sun,
Now I'm a dying star
Things I used to hold to close,
Now I've pushed them so far

I was an aspiring model,
An ideal, independent,
And ever since you've been around
You've worn me like a pendant

I've lost my own glow,
What's left is a reflection
And, much loved, Ive concluded
After much reflection

That I can't stay anymore
I can't be yours forever
Risk loosing what I'm left with
And then to look back, never

I can't, I won't, I shan't
And so, I write to you,
I wish it wasn't like this
I wish I didn't have to

I wish I wasn't leaving
I wish I was okay
I wish I wasn't hurting
I wish that I could stay

And I wish, your hadn't held me
I wish you hadn't smiled
I wish you didn't care,
I wish you weren't this mild

That's all those days and nights
That I wished never last,
All those words and glances,
I wish they hadn't passed

I wish we hadn't met,
That night under the tree
My darling, my mate
My only one to be.

~ halaenoor