Eleven: Wreak Havoc

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We were quiet for a full 30 minutes, hearing the rain tap the car as we traveled to the next hotel.

"Stop the car."  I told him.

"Excuse me?  I don't fucking know what got over you back there, but if you think you can give me orders-"

"Stop the fucking car, Asshole!"  I screamed, causing him to press a button on the dashboard to engage the breaks immediately.  I took off my shoes before I opened the car door.

"Grace?!"  I heard Josh question as I got out of the car, but I didn't give him the time.  I got out of the car and started walking down the street in the pouring rain that quickly started soaking me.

I could hear his footsteps behind me, but I turned and threw one of my heels at him which only made him angry as well.  He ran after me and gripped my arms before turning me back to him.

"What?!"  I growled.  "What the fuck do you want?!  To sell me off to whoever your damn boss is so that you can gain power?!  Or, I know, do you have anymore secrets you want to fucking tell me?!"

"I know you're angry, Kitten, but-"

"Angry?" I smacked his hands off of me.  "I am beyond angry?!  I am fucking furious!  I have dealt with people like you!  My entire life has been a roadmap of fucking abuse and neglect because people take my kindness as permission to use me as a doormat!"  I hit him with my other heel, but he just stood there quietly as the rain poured down on us and I continued to speak.

"So congratulations!  You wanted me to fucking lose it?! I've lost it!" I hit his chest as hard as I could, which for a man of his muscle and size, it wasn't much of a hit. "You've kept things from me! Important information that I should have known from the start! You kidnapped me! You drugged me! You beat me! You raped me, Knight! You did all of that and because of your sick, deluded, and psychopathic way of thinking, you never once thought about me or how I might feel! People like you look at me and think that I'm weak and so you do what you want to me, but I have news for you! I PUT UP WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE TO ME BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"

There was complete silence between us after I finally admitted that. I didn't even realize my true feelings until I was ranting and it just came out. I was in love with a psychopath. I was in love with the man who pretty much wronged me in every possible way. Was I an idiot? We heard a whistle come from the car and looked over to see Josh with a smirk on his face. He'd heard me admit it too and now, even though I was still angry, I backed away from him and fell to my knees a few feet in front of him, crying on the wet ground from embarrassment and the fact that I knew these feelings would not or could not be returned.

I could hear his footsteps near me and he grabbed my arm, lightly pulling me up from the wet ground. He brought me back to the car and opened the door for me. He put me in and gave me a dry blanket from the trunk before returning to the driver's seat.

"Damn it."  I heard him snap as he started the car back up and began driving again.  "This wasn't supposed to fucking happen."  He turned the autopilot on and looked at me.  "You need to forget these feelings.  Push them to the side because I can't fucking love anyone."  He ordered.

"It's not something you can just toss out, Knight." I wiped the tears away from my face and quickly regained control of my emotions.

"Do it anyway!  I'm warning you here and now, I will never fall in love with you!"

***
Once we got to the hotel, I took a hot shower and changed out of my wet clothes. I watched him practically drink himself into oblivion. By the end of the night, he was out of it and asleep. I sighed and grabbed my stuff, gathering it all together while debating to leave this place and leave him behind me once and for all, but what was the point? There was still a tracker in the ring I couldn't take off.

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