My Forever | Camren

Chapter 14.

Camila's P.O.V

I woke up to someone knocking on the front door of my apartment.

I quickly checked the time in my phone. "4:32"

"What the fuck?" I mumbled to myself. I quickly removed Shawn's arm from around my waist and slipped out of his grasp.

I threw a black hoodie and some shorts before quickly leaving and shutting the bedroom door softly behind me.

My nerves bubbled as I walked towards the door, but nonetheless I took a deep breath before cautiously opening the door.

I was met with the girl that hadn't left my mind for weeks.

"Lauren?" I whispered confused. She had mascara running down her face, her hair was ruffled and she looked pretty messy. Very messy.

It was obvious she's been crying, the puffy eyes, red cheeks and the black mascara trails that run down her cheeks.

"Hi" she said very quietly.

"Can I come in?" She asked with her eyes full of desperation. I couldn't just turn her away.

"Yeah, sure" I mumbled before stepping out of the way and letting her enter my apartment.

The last time she was here we-

I quickly shook the thought from my brain as I shut the door behind her. I led her to the living room where she sat down very slowly.

I sat down on the arm chair opposite her.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice full of concern.

She was silent for a few seconds, just looking around the room.

"You have a really nice place" She said avoiding my question. I only noticed then that her voice was slightly slurred.

I sighed.

"Thanks, I worked hard for it" I said proudly. It was true, I worked my ass off to get where I was now.

"You're definitely working a lot better than me" she mumbled. She had avoided my gaze ever since she stepped foot into my apartment.

I didn't know how to respond. We ended up just sitting in an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked her again, hoping for a response this time.

"I had no where else to go" She whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear it.

I felt my expression soften as the words left her mouth.

"I know I look really pathetic right now" She stifled out a chuckle.

"You do look like a little bit of a hot mess" I joked, trying to cheer her up.

A sad smile appeared on her face as she finally met my gaze. Only then did I noticed how they were dilating like crazy.

Shit. That's really not good.

I was pretty sure she could read by my expression that I knew she was high.

I remember how her eyes use to do the exact same thing back when the band was together. After certain nights out partying, Lauren would usually end up doing some sort of illegal and often risky drugs.

I never really understood why she did them.

Her eyes lingered on mine for a long time. Until eventually they started to fill with tears, causing her to look away as fast as she could.

"Hey, come here" I said softly as I moved to sit beside her. I wrapped one arm around her, and let my hand rub her back soothingly.

"I'm here for you okay? You can talk to me" I said, truly meaning every word.

Suddenly, she began crying heavily.

I turned her body to face mine and let her head rest against my shoulder, feeling my hoodie dampen from her tears.

I wrapped both of my arms around her and let us both fall into the couch together.

I instinctively pressed on the top of her head as I ran my hand through her dark hair.

"It's okay, it's okay" I repeated, trying my best to comfort her.

A long time passed before Lauren's sobbing began to calm down. However, she never moved from my arms. Instead, she ended up playing with my fingers that rested on my knee.

"I'm sorry I've been such a dick" She started.
"I have a habit of running away from things that are good for me" She sighed heavily.

I didn't respond, I just let her talk and listened to what she had to say.

"It's just, I've spent so many years of my life feeling completely numb. Not feeling anything at all" Her voice began to shake as she finished her sentence.

I squeezed her hand gently to reassure her.

"The drugs I used to take, they made me feel things. It's a really addictive feeling after being hollow inside for such an agonisingly long time".

So that's why she used to do those drugs. Fuck.

"But I knew they weren't good for me, and they were starting to really effect my health, so I stopped using them".

"However, it left me feeling numb all over again. But this time I guess I just learned to manage it better".

She paused for a few seconds before continuing.

"But when we starting speaking again, and when we hooked up-". It looked like she was finding the right words to say.

"I know it might've been just sex to you but-" She paused again, before lifting her head off of my shoulder to look at me.

"You make me feel something" Her eyes became glossy again.

I felt my heart beating faster as she said that. I didn't even know how to react.

"You make me feel something, and that scares me. So I ran away again, like the coward I am" She said defeated.

"You aren't a coward" I said softly, resulting in a small smile to appear on her face.

"I starting using the drugs again" she blurted out.

"Lauren" I furrowed my eyebrows nervously.

"But the funny thing is, the drugs don't make me feel alive anymore. Not even the drugs that used to make me feel like I was dancing on clouds, compare to how you make me feel inside" She said as she interlocked her fingers with mine.

"So as cheesy as it sounds, but i'm high so I can pass on this one, you, Camila Cabello are my drug" She said looking at me with those captivating, green eyes I could loose myself in for an infinite amount of time.

I had never experienced the feeling I was having right now. I could feel the blood soaring through my veins, I could hear my heart beating at an uncontrollable pace. I had never felt so much adoration and warmth towards another human before.

I removed my hand from hers and slowly rested it on her soft cheek. She closed her eyes and sunk her face into my hand.

Her eyes fluttered open again, and met mine. My gaze fell onto her perfectly shaped lips. My eyes lingered on them before eventually meeting her eyes again.

She started to move her face closer to mine, leaving us only inches apart.

I licked my lips instinctively before slowly closing the tiny gap left between us.

Then, I finally felt her soft lips graze mine only for a second.

"What's going on here?"