Tell me about Jack Keagan

Chapter 9

On Tony's glasses lens, Brin's vitals were borderline off the chart. Her heart rate was at 110 while sitting down, 28 breaths a minute compared to her usual 11, and her face was the palest he had ever seen her. He felt guilty and sorry for her, knowing he was part of the problem that was causing it. He knew it was best that he broke the news to her that there was no mission, that she wasn't building up to a HYDRA run. He had seen her potential and knew she would, with more training and guidance, be an asset to the Avengers, but whether she would want to stay on after he let her in on the secret was up in the air.

In front of him, Brin stood facing the outside world through the window of Tony and Pepper's living area. She knew something was wrong, it wasn't hard to tell. Tony had only brought her up here once, and the way he immediately made her a drink and sent her to sit down put her on edge. Why wasn't he poking fun at her? Calling her nicknames? The dazzling sunlight warmed the exposed skin on her forearm and the black cloth of her tee and jeans, leaving a line across her neck where the sunset was yet to reach. She crossed her arms and tried to silence her mind, the sound of Tony making their scotches seemingly deafening. She heard him move towards her, turning to greet him.

"Here." He handed her one of the squared glasses with honey-coloured liquid. She thanked him as he stood next to her, drinking from her own.

"You've done well so far, Brindle puppy-."

"Please don't. Just be straight with me with whatever it is. I can handle it." She interrupted, refusing to look at him. Tony hadn't wanted the responsibility of letting her in on the secret, but he knew that she would take it best from him. Or at least trust him enough to process it there, he hoped.

"There's no HYDRA mission. There never was... Cap and Barnes... Well, they used it to mask the fact that Barnes wanted to meet you again. It was an excuse to-."

Brin stopped listening. She couldn't take any more in.

"How could you not tell me earlier?" She snapped, fighting her emotions. Tony turned and looked at her, taking off his glasses so she could see his eyes completely.

"You think I didn't want to? I saw how you were improving, how you were growing, and I didn't think it was fair to disrupt that."

"Why would you keep up his lie that was for his sake? You don't even like him."

"No, but I like you and you deserved all the good experiences." He justified, sitting down on the wood and leather armchair behind Brin, taking a mouthful of his drink. Brin cleared her throat, refusing to let herself get more worked up. Instead, she tried to be analytical about the situation. Emotions were not allowed to lead her life, and she had to keep her head.

"When was he going to tell me?" She asked with an involuntary tremble to her voice. Tony heard the falter and made his own tone gentler and patient.

"He realised it was a mistake when you two started getting close. He got the guilts, hard, but didn't know how to tell you the truth."

Brin forced herself to sit down, not in the matching chair beside Tony, but on the steps to the sunken-in section of the room, close to him. She sat and tried to sift through the thoughts in her head. I'm useful, but not for the job I thought existed. I'm still wanted. Bucky didn't tell me the truth because he was scared. Or he didn't trust me.

"What's next for us?" She asked, staring at her feet that were stretched out in front of her. What she really wanted to know was if there was any point in staying. Her instinct was to leave, to not turn away, to push it all away and try to start again. Tony considered for a moment, pulling the right side of his mouth further across like he did when thinking.