Tell me about Jack Keagan

Chapter 10

Tony Stark stood as part of the group encircling Brin, feeling unsure and uneasy. He glanced around at each of the faces in turn, just to see if they were showing how they felt about the situation. To his right, he saw the uncertainty in Steven. Dressed in workout gear, shield perched on his back, Rogers stood with his arms crossed, watching Brin. He had been the first to argue against the idea, which surprised Tony. They were rarely in agreement about matters of HYDRA's darlings, but they had both delivered strong refusal to play a part in this. That obviously hadn't worked out.

Next was Bucky, much to everyone's disdain. They had nothing against him for wanting to be there, they understood why. Everyone in the tower caught on that there was a relationship forming between him and Brin, but they never asked anyone else about it. They could see it in the way any tension dissipated when she was around, how they shared knowing glances, and the fact that a few mornings a week Bucky seemed less intimidating than useful. Of course, Steve had been told straight up by his friend, and when discussion of today's plan surfaced, he saw the extent of which Bucky was willing to go for her. To put himself back in this situation was beyond anything Steve would have expected or asked, and yet had insisted he be involved.

Tony had been the most reluctant, for obvious reasons. He knew exactly what could happen when activation and missions occurred, and he didn't want to put Brin in any type of danger, to herself or others. He had spent half the night irritating Pepper with his debate against himself, which meant they were both tired.

"She trusts you and obviously feels the need to know what she's capable of."

"But she's just a kid, Pep! She was nineteen. I don't want her to have to go through it again."

"Or do you just not want to see it?"

Pepper was wrong, Tony argued with himself. I actually care about her.

Maybe that's why I need to be there.

Drawing himself out of his thoughts, he looked in front of himself at Brin. She looked calm, despite the storm inside. He didn't like seeing her in the current state. Learning of the HYDRA mission being fake had taken a toll, even if she didn't admit to or recognise it. Her lips were dry and pale, her eyes unfocused, and her voice sounded tired. Despite the exhaustion that had taken over her body, she trained double what she had been asked to, often by herself with her music going, only seen when eating at mealtimes or in the lab with Bruce and Tony. And even in there she was abnormally quiet, preferring to follow orders rather than ask her usual barrage of questions about what they were doing. Bruce had tried to cajole a laugh out of her a few times, but all she did was offer a weak grin and soft exhale.

Bruce Banner had noticed this just as much as Tony, both having seen what emotional instability can do to a human being. He saw what Stark didn't want to see: Brin watching him like he was the only source of light, her perking up or pretending that she was happy when he was around but deflating the moment he left, and her eyes water whenever he said the slightest thing encouraging about what she knew or had learnt. He also noticed how Bucky behaved around her. He would rest his hand on her lower back or watch her from behind when she talked to others. He seemed to be able to read her across the room, leaving as she did, walking her away. Brin was depressed and needed the people she looked up to the most to recognise it, to recognise her.

It had been three weeks since what Brin called 'The Truthening' had happened, and Brin had fought with herself most of the time since. She found peace when she was busy, but everywhere she found herself the sinking feeling of being a burden followed suit. There was a tumultuous conflict happening, between sadness that Bucky would be leaving her and anger that her chance to prove herself to Tony and Steve had been squandered. She didn't like to concede to the idea that she was burning for the approval of Captain America and Iron Man, but it was true right down to her core. She craved for someone to tell her she was worth it, worth anything at all. Although the period after the Truthening was, and continued to, hurt Brin, it was hurting everyone around her, especially Bucky.