Don't Look Back - A Carl Grimes FanFiction

Chapter 27

Rayne's pov

After about three minutes of standing by the others, after the chaos, Carl came out, looking down, staring straight ahead. I slightly scrunched my eyebrows together and was about to walk up to him when I saw Maggie coming out from behind the wall crying her eyes out, blood all over her hands. It took me a moment to realize she had something in her hands, or someone.

It was a little baby I could tell, and it was wrapped up in a little blanket or some sort of cloth over it. They had a little bit of brown hair on their head and they started to squirm in Maggie's arms. Glenn walked up to her along with Rick, and Glenn hugged Maggie, and she cried harder.

Rick went up to Carl and he just shook his head no. Rick started crying his eyes out and put his hands on his knees. He started pacing back and forth saying no, over and over to himself. Carl still held his gun and kept looking down. I didn't know what to do. I looked around and everyone was looking at the sight ahead.

I decided to walk up to Carl. I could feel the group behind me watching my every move, but I didn't care. I walked up to him, lightly jogging about ten feet from him, and all I did was hug him. No words were said as I heard the drop of his gun and his arms wrap around me.

He started crying, and all I could do, was squeeze him a little tighter, and softly rub his back. I knew Lori hadn't made it, and it was taking it's toll on everyone. Hearing the sharp intakes of breath from everyone around me, I realized how much everyone was hurting. I closed my eyes and a stray tear fell down my cheek landing on Carl's jacket sleeve. He started crying harder and all I could hear him whisper was,

"Don't leave me here alone." I started crying a little harder hearing the vulnerability in his voice and I whispered back,

"I'll never let you go." He was still crying, and Rick was still pacing. Although Maggie had stopped crying, she was still in Glenn's arms. The little baby started crying and Carl pulled away from me, walking over to Maggie. I followed and stood right beside Carl, I looked over to the baby and Maggie said,

"It's a girl." Carl looked over at her and slightly smiled, and looked over at Rick and he said, tears running down his face,

"You can name her." And Carl nodded and thought. He sniffled a little before he said,

"I want to name her Judith." Everyone around us nodded and little baby Judith was still crying. Maggie looked over at the others who stayed by the log and they all walked over. Carl sniffled again and wrapped his arm around me. The others reached us and they all huddled around Maggie. I just stared at Judith and started to wonder how we were going to be able to take care of a baby in this world. It wasn't going to be easy, but I think we might be able to do it.

We all started to head back inside and some people started clearing out bodies from inside. I was dragging a body outside to be burned when I wondered where Lori was and if she was put down. If she hadn't been put down, she'd come back and I knew some people wouldn't be able to do it themselves.

I kept dragging the body over to the pile and set it on the edge. I walked back in and it seemed like everyone had the bodies almost gone, so I walked back up to my cell and tried to find a hair tie, but couldn't find one. 

Rick was sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands and Daryl and my mom were sitting right behind Rick. I walked past them quietly and headed outside where I saw Carl leaning up against the wall. I walked up to him and stood beside him.

"It just doesn't seem right, she should still be here." He said looking out into the trees. I stayed silent.

"I don't even know how we're going to keep Judith alive. We can hardly keep ourselves alive sometimes, how are we going to take care of her?" He asked and I said,

"We'll find a way, we always do." He sighed and looked down.

"I was the one who put her down, and she looked me in the eye while I did it too."

"You did the right thing, even though it might have been hard, you did it, and that shows how strong you are." I said and leaned up against him, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I know, but, it still hurts."

"Yeah, it will for a while, just like when I had to kill Reese, I knew it wasn't him, but it still hurt, it will take time, but it'll get easier." He nodded, took my hand and walked back inside in silence.

Beth was holding Judith and Daryl was whispering to my mom. She hasn't spoke to me in I don't know how long. It seemed like Daryl was her lifeline. I looked away and noticed Hershel wasn't there.

"Where's Hershel?" I asked and Rick looked at me.

"We don't know if he'll survive, a walker got his leg and we chopped it off." I nodded and looked down at the stairs my feet were on. What in the world was going on around here?

 Carl still hadn't let go of my hand, and I really appreciated it, there was so much to cope with all at once. One by one, everyone walked away to do their own thing, but Carl and I stayed. He pulled me up and went to our cell. He sat down on my bed and started messing with an arrow I must've dropped. He put it back in the quiver I put in the corner and went to lay back down.

"So I'm taking it, you're staying on my bed tonight?" I asked and he shook his head no.

"Well why can't we stay together? We've done it before." I asked him again, and he just shrugged.

"Come on, it'll make you feel better." I said, and he just shrugged again.

"I know your dad will be a little mad, but I just want to make you feel better. Seeing you sad is making me sad." I rubbed his shoulder

"My dad wouldn't care." He said monotonously.

"How do you know?"

"I've seen him be like this before, he's distancing himself, becoming introverted."

"He can't do that, he's our leader."

"Well, he is, and there's nothing we can do about it, trust me." He sighed and took his hat off. Even though it was the afternoon, it seemed like two days had gone by. We were sitting there in silence when we heard someone yell,

"Let me in, Rick!" We both sat up and went to see what was going on.