Beautiful Storms

chapter twenty-five | sadie

"Practice self-kindness and know that it's okay when life gets messy."

- Robyn Conley Downs

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beautiful storms | chapter Twenty-five

"You guys could've gotten in a lot of trouble." Their grandmother says as she stares over to Sadie and Jude.

"Because you don't know what that man is capable of." She adds.

Cara and Jess, walk into the living room and sit next to Jude. Their grandmother smiles over to them and Cara smiles back.

"So be careful, just know I'm not angry with you for stealing my car." She looks sternly at Sadie and she nods at her.

"Pepperoni pizza."

"Cheese pizza."

"Meat lovers."

"Veggie lovers."

"Oh! Oh!- lets get meat lovers."

Jude happily says and Sadie face palms herself. Cara stares blankly at the siblings. She pulls her the sleeves of Jude's shirt over her hands. Sadie groans and she flicks Jude's head and he flicks her back.

"Shut up and just pick one. Pizza isn't everything you know, Jude."

"How am I supposed to pick one if you just told me to shut up?- Think Sadie."

Sadie glares at him then she glances at Jess who has a smile on her lips. She catches her gaze and she looks away awkwardly.

Sadie shuts her room door and she leans against it. She falls down her cheeks and she wipes them away. She breathes feeling her lungs with air. She slides down the door and she lifts her head up, staring up at the ceiling.

He leans his forehead against hers. He places his hands on both sides of her head. "Secrets are meant to remain secrets, Sadie." He pulls a strand of her hair between two of his fingers and he twirls it around.

"You're beautiful just like your mother was."

She breaks into sob but she covers her mouth so no one would hear. She couldn't help but relive all of the memories of the past month of life. Everything starts to come back and she doesn't know what to do but cry.

"Turn around Sadie." He whispers in her ear.

She violently shakes her head and she grips the book in her hand as she pulls it out. He places his hand on her shoulder and just as he turns her to look at him, she lifts the book in her hands, and the hardcover book slams against his face.

Her hands turn into fists and then she bangs her head into the door.

"Get out of my head!"

She starts to beat her head with her fist.

He wraps his hands around her waist with a sense of urgency and he pulls her into him. All she could think about was did she deserve this?

She screams, letting out of the pent up emotions from months and she couldn't control her herself anymore and she just gave up.

"Sadie!- Open the door!" Jude shouts from the other side of her room door and she shakes her head.

"You're beautiful just like your mother was."

"Please stop." She whimpers. Her breathing quickens and she feels her heart pounding in her chest.

"J-Jude, help me." She pleads and she reaches for the door knob and unlocks the door and Jude finds her on the floor with her hands pinned to her chest keeping her from hitting her head.

"I'm here, Sadie." His voice cracks and he could feel himself start to cry as he picks her up from the Fetus position she was in. He carries her to her bed and he hugs her.

"You're okay, breathe."

She stares up at Jude with tears in her eyes and he wipes them away. Her breathing is heavy and she lays her head on his chest.

"He's gone." He reassures her but she shakes her head.

"He's still in here." She points to her head and his features fall and he hugs her harder.

"It's gonna be o-okay, I promise." He stutters and she wraps her arms around Jude's neck.

"You promise?"

Jude breathes in and out. "I promise, I will be there every step of the way."

"I want to try therapy." She says after minutes of silence.

"I'll talk to Grandma about it and I'm pretty sure she'll agree."

"Jude, I love you."

"I love you too."

He says, kissing her forehead tenderly. "Do you want me to sleep here tonight?" Sadie nods and she moves away from him towards her pillows. Everything will get better, I promise you that. Life gets better and all of your bad dreams in life and in your mind will go away.

He gets under the cover and she closes her eyes. He stares up at the ceiling and he thinks. What would our lives be like if we lived grandma from the start? Jude felt bad that he had to leave Sadie in such a fragile state because of college in a few weeks. It pains him. He watches as her breathing slows and she's finally asleep and he decides to sleep himself.

"Are you sure about this?" Their grandmother asks Sadie who nods and she sighs.

"I'll set up an appointment with Dr. Jones today."

Sadie smiles and she glances over in the kitchen and she sees Jude warming up some pizza. She felt lighter but she still felt a heavy hold on her chest. She wishes she could talk to Jude or her grandma about what happened to her but she couldn't really form the words so maybe talking to a professional who would understand her might help but only time will tell.

"Dr. Jones seems qualified enough." Jude nods as he chews the pizza in his mouth and he points his greasy fingers at the computer screen on his grandmother's lap.

"Jude, chew your food, dear before you open your mouth." She taps his chin and he closes his mouth, sitting down next to her.

"Yes, ma'am." He says, kicking his feet up so they could sit on the coffee table.

"Jude, manners." She scowls him and he takes his feet off the table.

"Sorry." He turns to Sadie who chuckles.

"Yeah Jude, manners. Be a lady."

Their grandmother laughs and Jude playfully glares at Sadie.

"Be a lady." Jude mocks her and leans forward.

"Call me when you're done, okay?" Jude says and Sadie pauses for a moment before hugging Jude.

"Thank you." She whispers and she gets out of the passenger side and she heads into the office. Jude watches her every step until he couldn't see her anymore.

Jude sighs and he remembers a conversation it had with Cara just minutes before leaving to drop Sadie off.

"It's time for you to start taking care of yourself and I know it'll be hard but you need to start, it's the only way you'll get better here." She points to his head and he nods.

"It's not selfish to take care of yourself and to think of yourself."

"It's not selfish to take care of yourself and to think of yourself."