DREAM STATE // Ryder Mclaughlin EDITING

02

I open the giant oak door to my house as quiet as I can but the odds work against my favor and the door squeaks. A light from upstairs turns on and I see a shadow come, I prepare for my death in this moment.
"Vera? What the fuck, where have you been?" Flynn walks down the stairs and grabs my arm and tries yanking me up the stairs but I shake him off.
"Stop it Flynn, I just went to skate" I try staying as quiet as I can do we don't wake up our dad.
Another light flicks on and Kohen walks down with an angry look plastered on his face.

"Kohen help me get her upstairs to dads room, she's being stubborn." Instead Kohen shoves Flynn away from me. "Leave her alone, I mean fuck she just got out of rehab and you guys are hovering over her like she's some damaged possession." This is why he was always my favorite brother.

Kohen gives me a little push for me to start walking upstairs but before I take the first step I stick my tongue out at Flynn, he turns red in the face wich makes me more than happy. I love pissing him off.
I open the door to my room and flop onto my bed completely forgetting Kohen was here with me.
He clears his throat so I look up at him to see his arms crossed having a stern look on his face.

"You reek of marijuana Vera, care to explain?"
I lift my arm up to my nose and breath in to try and see what he's talking about. "Dumb ass, you're not going to smell it. You're nose blind." Kohen closes the door and walks over to my bed taking a seat next to me, it reminds me from when we were younger. Whenever I would hear our parents fighting he would come in my room and we would talk about random things for hours.
"I won't hound you like dad and Flynn but are you going to try and stay sober?" I shrug my shoulders, it's not that I don't want to be drugged up on every occasion but drugs definitely boost my serotonin, I'm more happy when I'm on something.
"Vera you really scared me, I didn't think you were going to live and the thought of losing you and mom within a few years it just, I wouldn't have been able to go on with out you."
I desperately want to tell him to shut up, talking about our mother is something I never liked doing. It's too much of a sensitive story.
"You guys all act like I tried to overdose. It was an accident."
Well, I did purposely mix the two together but I didn't mean to pass my limits. Usually I'm good at knowing when to stop but part of me was living in the moment so much I didn't care to stop.
"I just want you to be safe, rethink everything you're doing." Again this is why Kohen is my favorite, he's not telling me to stop but to be safe. Unlike dad and Flynn who think threatening me with things would work, which makes me want to rebel against them even more.
"I'm gonna go talk to Flynn and get him to just forget about tonight. Get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning, maybe we could go get some waffles for breakfast. Sound good?" I nod my head, throwing my shoes off and laying down to make it seem like I'm about to go to sleep. Once my bedroom door is closed I wait for his footsteps to fade down the hall so I can jump out of bed and search through my things to look for my phone. Luckily it was right where I left it and has half it's battery life.

When I unlock at a few messages pop up and I know it's from Ryder because he's the only one who would text this phone.

it's ryder
i had a good time
meet up tomorrow same place same time?

i had a good time too
yes, tomorrow. same place, same time

-

The light shining through my thin baby pink curtains wake me up. I roll over and open up my nightstand, maybe I have a few melatonin pills that'll put me back to sleep but instead I find a half empty bottle of xanax. Shit, it's like death looking me right in the eye. Maybe I can just sleep it off and no one will know I even took them. Deciding against it I throw the pills back into the drawer and slam it shut, stupid fucking pills.
I pull out my phone and look at myself through the camera. I look like a wreck, like someone kicked me out of a moving car, drowned me and then tried burying me alive. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating just a little bit but, I am not a sight to sore eyes.