Ship: Anxeit
Tw: crying
Word count: 667
srry its kinda short but i saw this and it broke my heart-
Janus selected Finding Nemo on Disney+, settling himself down on the couch. Okay, Janus loved Disney movies, even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even Remus.
Now, this may or may not be the third time this week he'd tried to watch finding nemo. But he was determined to make it all the way to the end this time. He would get through the whole movie, and he wouldn't cry.
As the movie started, Janus wrapped his arms around himself, his hat a little lopsided, causing his hair to flop over the reptilian, snake side of his face. His one yellow eye shined in the semi darkness, his human eye shadowed by his hat.
He cut quite a striking figure, his face half obscured, the faint yellow glow of his eye casting a shadow over his face. He didn't feel particularly striking however.
The aching memories of times gone by weighed down on him. It was only six months ago but it felt like years and years in the past since Virgil had left. But simultaneously it felt like it had been only yesterday that Virgil had sat with him on this very couch, watching movies together. He missed the casual contact- the comfortable hand holding, the occasional peck on the cheek or lips or forehead. It made him feel sick to relive those memories.
~
"Hey, Jan?"
"Yes, V?"
"You know I'll always be here for you, right?"
"Of course,"
Janus sighed, rubbing his eyes, which made his snake scales tingle slightly. He turned his full attention back to the screen, where Marlin was so close to finding his son. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
Why did he subject himself to this? He was practically torturing himself by watching this movie. Who was he kidding? He was already crying, tears beginning to slip down his face, dripping onto his lap. He rubbed his eyes, picking up the remote through vision blurred with tears and shutting off the television.
It just wasn't fair. Marlin gets his son back in the end. Why did he have to be alone? He just had to except that Virgil was never coming back. He knew that, he had to stop fooling himself. Virgil was happy, why wasn't that enough for him?
But it wasn't enough. Janus wanted his best friend back. Deciding that sleep would help, he picked himself up of the couch, wiping his eyes to head for his room. His gaze flicked around the room before fixating at a small heap near the corner.
He made his way over with a frown, crouching down to see what the black bundle was. His breathing hitched in his throat. It was Virgils old hoodie. The black one, thick and warm. He carefully picked it up, moving so he was sitting against the wall.
Looking at the garment through tear filled eyes, Janus hugged it to his chest, burying his face in the fabric that still carried the scent of the anxious side. He carefully slipped it on, the warmth feeling like it was Virgil enveloping him in a hug, rather then a piece of fabric. The thought only brought more tears to his mismatched eyes as he pulled the hood up, borrowing himself into the soft insides of the hoodie.
And it almost felt like Virgil was right there next to him, even if he wasn't. Maybe he'd meant Janus to find the hoodie. He didn't know, but he didn't care.
Over the next few weeks, Janus only took the hoodie off about five times. All the time he didn't spend in videos or detecting lies he spent huddled in his room, more often then not crying into Virgils old hoodie. Remus tried to console him but nothing had more then a temporary effect on Janus's mood.
Remus just prayed that Janus would keep it together, because if Thomas lost his Deceit... Well he wouldn't be able to lie, even to himself.
