The Wrong Harmony

twenty eight

"Harmony, are you good to start this session alone?" Kailey asked as soon as Harmony and Demi entered her office building. Another week, another therapy session. The good news was that Christmas was in two days and despite all of the drama that had occurred this year, she couldn't wait to spend it as a mixed dysfunctional family.

"Yes," Harmony answered so Demi took a seat in the waiting room while Harmony followed her into her private office. They took their separate seats and got situated and Kailey smiled at her.

"So how was your week after our first session?" Kailey asked, opening a notebook different from the one that she had last time before putting her full attention on Harmony.

"It was good. It was just a little weird between me and my mom because of what I said last time and she really took it to heart. It's not like I want to hate her, it's just that I've never really forgiven her for anything so..." Harmony trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Do you think it's more of a type of bitterness than full on hating her? Hate is a very strong word, Harmony. I don't think that you hate your mom. I think you feel resentment towards her that needs to be resolved," Kailey suggested as Harmony chewed on her bottom lip.

"Your mom has told me so much and based on what she has told me, she has done so much for you and she loves you with every fiber of her being. She's your mother. You guys will argue and you'll fight but you only have one mother and something that happened a long time ago should not affect that," Harmony played with her fingers and nodded her head. Forgiving someone when you've held a grudge against them was easier said than done.

"She was in the hospital recently, right? How did hearing that she was in the hospital or even seeing her in the hospital make you feel?"

"I was scared," Harmony admitted, thinking back to that day when Trey had picked her up early from school and taken her to the hospital only to see her mom attached to IVs and looking weak when she was normally so strong.

"Her ex husband told me in the car that she was really stressed out and that I should try to like calm down and be good for a while and it made me feel like it was my fault that she was in such bad health. I feel like I caused that because I put so much stress on her and for the first few days she was in there and she wasn't getting any better, I thought she was gonna die. I was so scared," Harmony confessed, pulling her knees up to her chest and slowly rocking herself back and forth.

"Do you see what I'm saying? You don't hate your mother. Keeping resentment in your heart is not good for you and it's not good for your mother. I know it's hard but forgiveness is a process, and you wouldn't want something to happen to her before you could acknowledge that you forgive her, do you?"
Harmony quickly shook her head and Kailey gave her a firm nod.

"Good. That's very good, Harmony. I'm proud of you. Can you get your mom for me?" Harmony stood from her chair and whispered a hurried thanks before exiting the office. Demi was going through her emails from her lawyer on her phone and she looked up when Harmony came out.

"She's ready for you," Demi locked her phone and shot her daughter a small smile before Harmony took her seat.

The car ride back to the house was filled with the hum of the radio and the occasional sound of Harmony typing something on her phone. When they were ten minutes away from the house, Harmony locked her phone and set it in the cup holder, looking over at her mother.

"So how is Christmas gonna go this year?" It didn't feel like Christmas to her. Maybe it was because she was older or because of everything that had happened lately but it just didn't feel like Christmas, and Harmony wanted it to. She wanted to be excited and look forward to spending the day with her family wearing matching onesies and drinking hot chocolate and watching all of the Christmas movies that she did when she was little.