Chapter 43

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*Amarin in MM*

Payton woke up to August leaving. He was quiet and seem like something was wrong. She got out the bed and slowly walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and washed her face.

"August what's wrong" she asked as she walked out the bathroom with a limp.

"I wanna go to therapy" August suggested to her she slowly sat down on the bed.

"Are you ok" she asked him and he sigh walking over sitting in front of her.

"Not about me, about us" he said and she tilted her head with a unsure look on her face.

"What about us... I thought we were ok" She said and he sigh.

"We are it's just I feel like it's some things that needs to be said without it being taken the wrong way" he said and she sigh.

"Is there something you wanna tell me, cause this just came outta nowhere and I feel something is off and I have not one clue what it is" She said and he refused to tell her like this, he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Payton when I get off tour I wanna go see a therapist if you don't mind" August suggest again she smacked her teeth.

"Fine. I'll do it, whatever I'm over it yo" Payton said getting up leaving out the room.

"Payton what... I just wanna see a therapist at least once" August said getting up following her.

"And I said I'll do it, it just doesn't feel right that you can't tell me face to face instead you have to put someone else in our business so you won't hurt me or my feelings" Payton said as she grabbed a water out the fridge.

"I don't wanna put us in a predicament where we have to separate again, I love you to much to do that" he told her and she shook her head.

"You did already, twice. How worse can it get, I'm bout used to people leaving me at this point" she said walking off to her room feelings irritated by August.

"Payton don't do that, I didn't mean to" He said following her into her room.

"You never do or anyone else. It's never nobody intentions to leave me it's life, shit happens ok. I'm built for this, leave I'm fine with that. I'll suffer but you'll be better because you won't have to deal with me." Payton snapped and August didn't know where this was coming from.

"Where is this coming from" he asked and she looked at him with the "you must think I'm dumb look".

"August I know that you have a problem with me not telling you about our baby and you also have a problem with me not being able to produce. You want a family and I can't give you that, I'm not slow. I've already prepared myself for this part of my life" She read him like a book and he was stunned,

"what do you mean you prepared yourself for this" he asked and she shrugged.

"Tasha took having kids away from me when I was fifteen. After that day I've sat in my room and prepared myself to know that a man won't ever love me the same once I tell him I can't have kids. I've cried about it, I've dreamed about it, and I damn sure know how it goes. August it's not your fault, it's not mines. It's life" she explained to him exactly what she meant, he felt so bad.

"Payton you didn't deserve nothing what happened to you baby, and I know you have crazy thoughts about no one loving you. But I do and won't ever stop" August told her and she nodded.

"I know but you also won't ever stop thinking what your life would be like if you had a family, am I right or am I wrong" Payton told him and he couldn't believe she knew exactly how he felt.

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