//Doomed//

13

It's a little past 9pm when Carl gets in, from where ever he's been. But no gueses needed what he has planned for the rest of the night as the sweet looking bar tender from the other night clings onto Carl's hand behind him as he enters the living room.

I look bahind Carl swiftly, greeting them both "hey" i offer a friendly smile to his guest before grinning up at Carl who looks down at me, sheepsihly. I stand, quickly heading for the fridge, knowing when one isn't needed nor wanted around "I'll just get a bottle and I'll be out of your-"

"Please don't leave on my account" bar tender with no name, speaks out. Offering a friendly smile back at me when i turn around - Looking a little guilty. Bless him. I like him already.

Carl looks at him, in his drastic drama queen way before turning to me "Er, please do" he nods at me. In a way to say three's a crowd. Making me laugh.

I roll my eyes at him, but choose to ignore his comment. I'm still slightly hungover and exhausted "It's fine" i hold my hand up, heading out of the kitchen "I'm gonna hit the sac soon anyway. It's lovely to meet you..." i pause, waiting for him to fill in the gap, with his name, as i hold my hand out.

"Er- Sam" he takes my hand for a firm handshake.

"Lea" i smile before making myself scarce. My phone vibrates in my pocket, signalling i have a text. I head for my bedroom, reading the text from Luke, wanting to make plans for tomorrow. A grin plays across my face before I'm called back.

"Oi! What gives?" Carl notices and obviously plays the nosey card. Turning from the fridge with the can of squirty cream in hand.

I stop, turning slowly with my focus still down on the phone "Luke says hi" i grin up at him.

Carl's posture straightens as his mouth drops, along with his eyebrows shooting up. Pulling the most shocked face imaginable "Luke, Luke?" he asks quickly, passing the cream to Sam before taking big strides to get to me.

I nod, giggling. "I'll tell you all about it later" i nod to his guest. Before he gets too carried away with gossip and forgets he has company.

He nods once, with a look to say he'll hold me to it.

I stop turning my attention back to the two of them "Actually could you not use the cream, i was going to make some-" Carl frowns over at me suddenly, shaking his head vigorously to tell me to shut up. "Nevermind. I'll buy another one" i scrurry off before i get myself in someone's bad books.

I throw myself down on the bed, wasting no time in opening the wine. They do say what makes you bad makes you better. I read over Luke's text. The excitement and giddyness soon wearing off. I already know I'm going to make no effort to reply back to his text, eventhough i did say we could hang out at some point while he's in town for the week. But it's definately a no go.

My thoughts wonder. My inner self coming out to snarl at me and remind me what i did earlier, and plan to do later on, isn't fair. My aim to make Matthew jealous. I don't even know why i did it. I'm sure it wouldn't of bothered him in the slightest. But that's not the point here. That's not me. Jealously has never been my thing.

Why would i even want him to be jealous, after how he treated me?

I don't.

I shouldn't.

Maybe because jealousy and embarrassment is a close thing? And i can't rid the embarrassment of how he's left me feeling by fucking and chucking me?

I begin to take big mouthfulls of wine from the bottle. Suddenly becoming moody with myself.

I hate this man.

Yet i want him to... like me?

More than that. I want him to...  want me.