//Doomed//

14

I slam the front door shut with force. Keeping my hands pressed firm against the door. My head focused on the floor beneathe me as i try steadying my breathing. Out of breath and fighting for air. There's a quick gasp, followed with a thud then quiet laughter. I turn, firstly noticing the rooms dimly lit, only the light coming from the small lamp near the window. Then my head follows to where the giggles are sounding around the room from.

I press the back of my head against the door, more than annoyed at the view in the living room. I sigh, shaking my head disapprovingly. Already annoyed here at myself, now Carl's adding onto that annoyance "you have a bedroom" i complain with a scowl at the two naked bodies in front of me. Throwing my bag down on the sofa and heading for the fridge for the wine. Keeping my eyes away from the sofa as Carl and Sam lay out on the floor at the side of it, butt naked. Trying to hide what they can of themselves.

I yank the fridge open. Waisting no time in opening a bottle of Carl's wine. There's a few mumbles from the room but i concentrate on downing as much of the bottle as i can in one go.

"Sup?" Carl sneaks into the kitchen a few minutes later, now with his boxers on. And wearing a little wipped cream around his left nipple. He stands in front of me, as i sit on the kitchen top, drinking the wine like I'm dehydrated. As though it's water. He narrow his eyes at me when i shrug and welcome another mouthful "Lea?" his voice comes out a little raised and concerned before he grabs the bottle from me. Again, adding on to that annoyance even more.

"Carl!" i warn him. Holding my hand out for the bottle back.

He holds it up higher, out of my reach with a No-messing-about look at me "Spill" he demands "Now!"

I roll my eyes. Knowing he's not going to give in. An i need that wine. I need as much alcohol as i can get my hands on. It's the only thing that will help. I need to forget tonight. Forget telling Matthew what i did. Forget how I'm feeling. Try and fucking forget i ever met that man.

Try...

I sigh again, blinking slowly, praying tears don't escape down my face. I finally look up at Carl who nods down at me for encouragement before taking a drink from the bottle himself.

"Matthew" i practically whisper, like it's a dirty secret (although that's what he basically is. A massive mistake that i need to keep to myself because of stupidity) Bowing my head down with a little shame? Embarrassment? Then i try grabbing the bottle back. But he's quicker than me. And it goes above his head again. Receiving an unhappy groan from me.

"What about him?" he shimmies his way between my legs. Giving me that playful smile, all because i mentioned that man's name to him. Anyone would think he was the one who'd got these stupid feelings and had the stupid one nighter with him. God! He finally passes me the wine back.

I waste no time taking another big mouthful. Being met with Carl's shaking head, followed with a disapproving tut soon after. But i ignore him "That bad huh?" he raises a brow with a sympathetic look. I shrug. Not really in the mood to talk about it anymore. I wouldn't have a clue where to start. Or what to say. I don't think I've ever been this confused in my life. Ever. "No i mean-" he chuckles "You. You've got it bad" he slaps my bare thigh lightly. Receiving a smirk from me i wasn't even aware i was going to show. He prods my cheek "that's better. Smile beautiful" he continues  prodding me. "Now come on-" he starts. But is cut off when Sam calls for him. He places his hands on my legs, leaning back to shout back "just a sec!" Followed with a look as though he's asking for permission to leave me like this.

"Go" i motion towards his bedroom with a smile, showing him I'm fine. This is my problem. Not his. He may aswell go enjoy himself. It's pointless us both being in this fed up, crappy mood. I'd only bring his mood down too.