Heyyaa, Character aesthetics are up there, ik it's not that good but guys, I tried. Hope you'll like it ;) Loads of lovee ;))
Happy reading<3
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'People often wear masks to protect themselves but sometimes they have to wear masks to protect others'
~corona virus
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How do you know what is the most powerful thing? What exactly makes you more powerful than the rest?
I always wondered, what is the apex solution to all of our problems. They say every problem has a solution. But even if it was just lying there, waiting to be acknowledged, I never cease to doubt that, is it really the right one?
I've always doubted myself, even if I knew the answer. And this eventually leads me to another problem.
I've never trusted anyone, not even myself.
You know, this problem comes in handy when you spent most of your childhood being lonely.
My mother had serious anger issues, real issues, so being the elder one, unfortunately, I always got to see her wrath. I quiet admire her obstinate believe that I can always be expected to do the right thing. Among all those family gatherings, vacation, cousins and siblings, I was not alone but still, I felt lonely.
Nobody in this world have a closest idea of the mental acrobatics you had to do to get through that barren, sometimes scary childhood.
The fantasies, the whole new world with companions and the stories that you have constructed in your head - the one that saved you. That held you.
I'm glad they were there.
I was just a little girl. Yet always get blamed for every damn thing.
That little girl in me constantly questions herself - where did I go wrong? What did I do now? Why I'm not getting treated like other kids?
From all those cold aching nights I had spent outside the house as a punishment for being late, to the new trendy Barbie set of my peer group because of which I lost the track of time. I had learn one thing for sure.
Never. Expect. Anything.
To have expectations simply means to get your heart broken. Like for example, just take my father.
If he wanted, he could've saved me. He could've saved me from those beatings and punishments.
But he chose drinking over parenting.
He could've let me inside the house that night. My mind still can't forget it.But I was a fool to expect him to even care.
Even a guard would show a spoon full of sympathy to a lonely dog roaming outside, but who are we talking about.
He was too busy getting free drinks.
Too busy to even talk to me. Ever.
I can still feel the stinging pain in my back from sitting on cold floor. I can still feel the red hotness wetting my fingers as I used clutch my head, defensing myself from various sharp things thrown at me.
I can still feel the threatningly mesmerizing gaze of my mother, that had hold my pile of sobs until I locked the door of my room.
Blood clotting turned into scars. And then back to a new skin. But I can still feel them burning my flesh. Igniting my anxiety.
YOU ARE READING
Thornderous
ChickLit'She was like the earth after rain and I resembled to the mighty sunlight, like a goddamn hero. But, too stiff to escape out of the blues. They seems to meet at the dipping horizon but, it's all a mirage. Just like us.'...
