- Five -

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Y/N's POV:

when steven and i landed back on the warp pad at the temple, the gems approached us.

"Y/N, could we speak to you about something privately?" pearl asked.

a pink hue emitted from Stevens body, lighting up the room.

he's panicking.

"um- it's fine, steven. don't freak out." i reassured, and he slowly nodded and took a deep breath.

"ill just... go to my garden." steven sighed, making his way out to the front door and up the steps.

garnet turned to me. "we need you to tell us what exactly you're trying to stop. the future is too unclear, i can't say what is going on."

"what do you mean?" i walked over to the couch and sat down.

"something happens to steven in the future that you're trying to stop. what is it?" pearl stared me down with a worried expression.

"oh, well in a couple of episodes he corrupts." i held up my hands in a comforting manner. "you guys help him uncorrupt, so it all works out! it's just... really bad and i figured i may as well help since i'm here." I trailed off awkwardly.

pearl nodded grimly, straightening up like a stick. "i think we all should have a meeting with steven.. we should call connie, and greg. maybe even bismuth. peridot and lapis too." pearl hurriedly pulled out her phone.

"no!" i reached out, hoping to halt pearls tapping fingers. "you'll overwhelm him. he'll admit to doing everything and spiral out!"

"admit to doing what?" amethyst asked.

i laughed, it coming out as a loud, anxious bark. "it's not my place to tell you, just please don't call everyone over here!" i stood up, backing towards the door that steven had left through. "bye, it was nice talking to you!" i darted outside and up the stairs to steven's garden.

he was sitting on the warp pad when i entered, his head in his hands. "hey, Y/N." he muttered.

"steven, i think we should talk." i sat down next to him.

he glowed pink again, head whipping up with wide eyes. "are you leaving? i knew you wouldn't want to help me anymore."

i grabbed his hand to calm him down. "no- no. i think we should talk about your feelings. first to me, then to the gems."

steven stood up abruptly and ripped his hand away from mine. "what is there to talk about? i'm fine!" he gave me a tense smile.

"steven..." i sighed, "you're not fine. let's... start slow, okay? it'll feel good once you get all your feelings out."

he reluctantly sat back down and faced me. "what do I start with?" his eyes were glued to his lap, replaying memories of horror and trauma.

"i'm gonna go through the events of the show, and when you light up like a glowstick, i'll know i hit a nerve." i cleared my throat and thought for a second. "okay, i guess the first big thing is, your fight with jasper? when you discovered you could turn pink."

"yeah, it was kinda cool, actually." he muttered. "now i feel like a highlighter."

i snorted, squeezing his hand before i continued. "in the second episode you said, 'i still want to help people, but maybe i'm losing my touch.'"

"what- how do you remember all of that?" steven scoffed.

"i have a good memory, man, i dunno." i waved him off. "so, we know that you love helping people, and when you can't help them, or it feel like you can't do enough, it hurts you. right?"

"i guess. i just want everyone to be happy, you know?"

"we'll come back to this, okay? hm... in the next episode you meet the other rose quartzes, which is definitely super uncomfortable. then we meet pink pearl, who you named volleyball." steven glowed pink. "alright, not over that one."

he looked away. "it's just... my own mom did that. she was literally two different people, with two different personalities." steven muttered. "the gems remember her as this- this wonderful, inspiring rebel. but... she could be violent, and tyrannical." he looked down at his palms, squeezing the pink glow out of them. "and she gave up her form to create me. i am my mom."

i covered his palms with mine, encouraging him to look at me as i spoke. "you are steven universe. not pink diamond. not rose quartz. you didn't do those things, and volleyball doesn't blame you for them. she can heal. there's no need to worry over something that happened in the past."

he took a deep breath, staying quiet for a long moment before looking at me with an encouraging sparkle. "next?"

"right. then... bluebird comes to earth, right? how do you feel about that?"

steven shrugged. "apart from the whole 'swearing vengeance' thing, i'm not too worried about it." i raised an eyebrow at him. "i'm serious! it's the least of my concerns, right now."

"fair enough... a few episodes later you talk to the gems about how you think they still see you as a little kid, even though you're, like, 16."

"i was just sick of them trying to treat me like i'm still young, when i'm definitely not! i literally run a school." he rolled his eyes. "but, we worked that out, i think. i'm not really upset about it anymore."

"alright. then, little graduation."

steven immediately turned pink.

he looked up at me, sighing when he realized i was waiting for him to speak his mind. "i don't know... it's sad to see people move on. i mean- they're all leaving! i'm need my friends! i love helping them and spending time with them, but i can't do that if they leave me!"

i sighed heavily, leaning closer. "they aren't leaving you, steven. they are trying new things. it's okay to miss them, but you can always visit them. they are still here, even if they aren't here." i waited for Steven to return to a normal color before i continued. "then you made cactus steven."

he hid his face in embarrassment. "oh stars, that was so embarrassing."

"i think... the big takeaway is that at the end you refused to talk to them about it." i surmised. "you need to tell them how you feel. they're your family, they will definitely understand how you feel, or at least be there to support you." steven nodded, gesturing for me to continue. "the next big thing is... the proposal."

"oh, stars." he repeated, more exasperated this time. "i'm so stupid." tears pooled in his eyes, and i jumped forward to comfort him

"no, you're not! love is... everyone is blinded by love at one point or another. and, i mean, connie didn't say no; she said not yet. she worked so hard to get to college, and she wants to experience it like other humans. she loves you, and she hates not being with you all the time, but everyone should be allowed to have their own experiences." i wiped a stray tear from his cheek, giving him a small smile before i continued. "now, the reason you're swelling up."

"stress." steven supplied for me.

"right. remember what Doctor Maheswaran said; there's nothing wrong with you. stress is completely normal, and everyone responds differently. some people yell, some people... swell up."

steven cracked a smile. "alright, you don't have to insult me."

i shrugged playfully. "now we're here. so... to stop what happens next, i guess just don't visit jasper."

"why?" he asked. his voice lowered like he was trying to hear a secret.

"you're gonna freak out if i tell you." i whispered back.

"no, it'll be fine. i promise."

i took a deep breath, leaning away from him just in case. "you accidentally... shatter her."

"oh, well that's not too- WAIT WHAT?!"

(edited)

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