The Memory Jar [Zayn Malik]

Chapter 15: Infuriating

Look at everyone, an early update! :D But I wrote this a couple hours ago and just kind of edited and read it over a few times, and i figured i really couldn't not post it. Yay for writing instead of doing homework!

I think it's really interesting! And some of you may be confused and/or hate me afterwords, which is part of the meaning behind the title, but once you read it you'll discover more meaning as well. x) 

PS- Ziam is my BroTP, so it hurt me inside to have a certain part in this chapter... but eventually, it get's better. Trust me. x)

Anywho, I hope you like it! And there's a little Chapter Dare that I'll write about at the end of the chapter, so I'll make this a short author's note! :D Read on!

Dana

            It’s toxic now, the Memory Jar. 

            Seeing the damned this only serves as a reminder, a reminder of what I’ve done. The terrible, sick things that I’ve thought, that I’ve acted on.

            I want to forget. 

            I want to forget about everything that’s happened now. I don’t even have memories about the man and the boy on the streets anymore; it’s all insignificant. It’s just trivial things like names of old friends, television shows, or pointless class work. None of it matters anymore.

           Ever since I made the mistake of falling for Zayn, for allowing my feelings to multiply to the point where I couldn’t not act on it, it’s all gone downhill. 

            Everything’s ruined. If I thought I was confused before, I really wish my past self could see me now. 

            The worst part about it is how badly I wanted it, and how good it felt. The feeling of Zayn’s lips on mine was so sweet and tender, the heavenly scent radiating from him in waves, the heat of his body against mine.

            As sick as it sounds, I loved every second of it. I wanted it, I craved it. And I still can’t get it out of my head, yet I also can’t bring myself to properly look at Zayn ever again.

            And it makes me absolutely livid. So utterly frustrated with myself to the point that I just want to throw- 

            That sharp pain sparks in my head suddenly, causing me to wince. I haven’t felt this in what seems like a while. It means a memory, but what triggered it?

            “We can’t stay here anymore Dana.” 

            “What?” I protest, following David as he stomps around the small living room, packing things carelessly into boxes. “Why not? This is our home! We can’t just leave! What about school? What about work?”

            David whips around to face me, a fierce look in his eye. “None of that matters anymore,” he says sternly. “But we can’t stay here. The house is going to be foreclosed soon, there’s nothing we can do.” 

            I can only gape at him as he turns around to resume packing again. “It does matter!” I explode. “I’m working, I’ll get another job if I have to, anything!” 

            “That’s just not how it works Dana. Now go pack your things. And travel light, we’re going to another city.” 

            Grinding my teeth in frustration, I can only spin on my heel and march back to my own room and angrily begin packing my own things, on a completely rage, but still unable to bring myself to disobey.