If I Leave, Will You Love Me? (JENLISA)

Because I Love You

JENNIE POV

Hurt, it's never been this painful when loving someone.

Do I lose her?

Why does everything always happen suddenly?

I don't want to lose her

What should I do

Wait, did I just say that I love her? - No way..

Yeah, fuck it. I don't care anymore, fuck the idea that I'm not interested in women, fuck with all the doubts that have been holding me back. I fell in love with her, and I knew from the start that this strange feeling was real, and there's no point in denying it again. She got mad at me, she said she's done with her feelings. I don't know what to do, but one thing I'm sure I don't want to make a fool out of myself anymore, and I've done enough to hurt her.

"I can do it," I said to myself, while looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen from crying all night, I tied my hair and then I moved from the mirror to the kitchen. My eyes are so tired and my head is dizzy because I can't sleep at night, but there's no point in being sad about all this. I sighed and smiled at myself, I decided to act normal to Lisa. I hurt her so much so there's no point in being angry with Lisa just because she wants to stop with her feelings for me. She has the right, because all this time I was the one who's so stupid, she said she wanted to breathe, so I'll let her. She is right, she's only human ...

When I'm busy with my mind, I hear Lisa's room door open. I turned my head, Lisa came out of her room, she looked neat maybe she's going to Seoul today. I sighed several times and practiced my smile as much as possible before I came out of the kitchen and approached her, "You're going to work?" I asked, Lisa was a little surprised then she looked at me in confusion before nodding, I knew she felt awkward

"Then, let's have breakfast first." I say while smiling at her. She's stunned for a moment, I was impatient then pulled her hand to the dining table. "wait a minute. Oh do you want chocolate milk or coffee?" I asked as I left for the kitchen, took the food and then returned to put it on the dining table.

"Um, no, I can--"

"Chocolate milk or coffee?" I interrupted her, repeating my question. I didn't want things to be awkward between me and Lisa, so I just pretended to be cool with what happened yesterday. Lisa scratched her head, "chocolate milk" she answered quietly, I smiled and nodded then returned to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I grabbed a box of lisa's favorite chocolate milk and poured it into her glass, then I went over to lisa again, put it on the table. I'm sitting in front of lisa after that

"Jennie, did you --"

"I'm actually bored just staying at home" I interrupted Lisa. I know what she wants to talk about and I don't want to hear it, so I'll just change the subject. I looked at lisa, she let out her breath and lowered her head. "Can I do anything other than just stay home?" I asked, chewing my food

Lisa raised her head, staring at me while raising her eyebrows. "Like what?"

I shrugged my shoulder, "Something I'm not bored of? Oh. whoa! you know, I met a little boy who lived around here. His name is Kim junhee, he lives with his grandma who sells teoppokki across the street. You should meet him, Lisa. He's so cute, " I blurted, remembering how cute the boy was.

"So you leave our apartment and go out alone?" Lisa asked while looking at me with raised eyebrows. I realized what I was saying, because I had left the house without Lisa's knowledge. "Um, yeah, just a few times. And that's for buying something at the store. Don't worry, nothing happened," I said nervously