The Right Thing (The Witcher Netflix)

Expecting The Unexpected

Merrian sat in a dark corner of the pub, listening to the councilman's story as he spun it, her eyes trained on the man taking furious notes.

"I tell you no lie, it swallowed the whole village, it did. Not a bone to be found! Oh, don't give me that look, shitling. That's why we had to call him... The White Wolf! And he stood in the middle of that frozen lake like he knew it was coming for him. The ice cracked open and a selkiemore shot out! Oh, you've never seen one, but it'd take down a ship with its cavernous mouth full of devil's teeth! And it... swallowed... that witcher... whole!" Merrian raised her brows in curiosity, Geralt had allowed himself to be eaten? He was probably fine, but Merrian still worried. A little.

"Oh, this is brilliant!" The little man grinned and Merrian scoffed softly as the other patrons turned to look at him.

"Oh, sorry. It's just Geralt's usually so stingy with the details. Uh... and then what happened?" He looked up at the councilman and Merrian smirked to herself quietly.

"He died." The portly councilman said dramatically and Merrian scoffed louder as she kicked her boots up onto the table in front of her.

"Eh... he's fine." Said the little man and the councilman sputtered

"Look, I was there. I saw it with my own-" the doors to the tavern burst open as Geralt trudged in, covered in blood, slime, muck, and more than enough grime to fill a marsh.

"See?" The little man grinned and Geralt looked at the portly man grimacing.

"Oh... What's that stench?" The councilman asked and Geralt frowned.

"Selkiemore guts. Had to get it from the inside. I'll take what I'm owed." The councilman handed Geralt a bag of coins that rattled together like a chainmail shirt. Merrian kicked her legs off of the table as the bard started to sing his amusing, yet annoying song. She slowly stood up and walked towards Geralt, he reeked of intestines and dead fish.

"Phew, for a man who doesn't like attention you certainly make an entrance." Merrian chided and Geralt glanced at her.

"For a woman who's avoiding me you certainly find me often enough." He growled and Merrian looked down, it was true she had been avoiding him. Only because she didn't want him to die.

"That's fair. I heard about the Selkiemore and assumed that the townspeople going on about the "white wolf" meant you so I thought I'd drop by, say hello before I head back." Merrian smiled softly and Geralt gave her a gruff "humph" in response. The bard walked up to the pair grinning widely.

"You're welcome. And now, Witcher, it's time to repay your dept." the bard smiled wider as Geralt took a sip of the piss poor swill that they passed for beer in the filthy tavern. He immediately spit it out and gave the bartender a hard glare.

"'What debt?' you're probably asking yourself in your head right now. Well, I'll tell you. I've made you famous, Witcher. By rights, I should be claiming ten percent of all your coin, but instead, what I'm asking for is a teeny, teeny-weeny little favor." Merrian laughed

"You made a deal with this little imp?" She giggled and both men looked at her, the bard more than slightly offended and Geralt in annoyance.

"Fuck off bard." Geralt growled as he went about counting his coin. The bard looked over at Merrian

"Geralt you know this..." Merrian stood straight and hardened her gaze to deter the whelp from saying anything he might regret.

"...this... very scary woman?" He asked meekly

"She's better than you." Geralt affirmed and Merrian made a face at the bard. He continued trying to convince Geralt of his deal.

"For one measly night of service you will gain a cornucopia of earthly delights. The greatest masters of the culinary arts crafting morsels worthy of the gods. Maidens that would make the sun itself blush with a single comely smile. And rivers of the sweetest of drinks from the rarest of-." Geralt started to walk away as he barely listened to the bard.