Less Than Perfect

{11} Devil's Game

*Trigger Warning*

Kanza Hadad

"Get out," I seethed through gritted teeth.

His lashes lowered, gaze hooded with lust and desire as a sinful aura of mistrust and fear compelled me, the overriding emotions sporadically running through my veins, my instincts mirroring the horror, the panic, and I found myself wildly thrashing against him. 

His leg shut the door behind him, hands grabbing a tight hold of my wrists as I pushed with a hard force against the wall. He placed his knee between my legs, forcing my thighs to spread wider as he leaned close, minty breath fanning across my cheeks. 

My blood boiled, my arms tensing as I tried to squeeze out of his hold, yet the more I fought, the tighter his grip became until my skin was taut and stretched against his hold. The area felt numb, cold like the slithering body of a snake, its scale rubbing against my pale skin so much to the point where I felt dread crawl up my spine.

I fought back the tears in my eyes, moving my legs in an attempt to attack him from the side, but that only moved my body closer to him. His eyes lit up with amusement, his green eyes darkening and the corners of his lips tugging upward. A devilish gleam entered the specks of hazel that surrounded the emerald of his eyes.

At first glance, his expression was adoring, a false security of love, yet lurking in the darkness, in the pale green was a hidden madness, a need to possess and claim. Slowly, the pieces began to click in my head like gears to a machine, the missing puzzle forming a picture behind my eyes. 

I bruised his ego. 

My rejection made him feel unworthy, and he hated that. As revenge, he wanted me to love him even if it meant I'd hate him for the rest of my life. 

Using my last bit of strength, I tried to break free of his hold, to shatter the chain he wanted to put around me like a leash to a dog or a possession. I was nobody's toy to play with when their ego bruised. This man would not take my independence away from me. 

He didn't budge. 

Dayyan leaned his forehead against mine, and guilt prickled my skin like thorns. "Don't fight against this," he whispered as his lips brushed against my cheek, leaving a sticky feeling behind as if I was being buried under dirt and I had no way to cleanse myself. 

Ya Allah, I prayed, struggling even more when his nose trailed up my jaw, his lips leaving a sloppy trail of soft kisses that felt like glue slapping against my skin, cold, unfettering disgust rising in my chest. Don't let him take my innocence. Protect me. Please, make him stop!

My panic increased as he inched closer to my mouth, and I thrashed against him, twisting my arms even when the pain of my joints became so unbearable I wanted to scream. My voice was lost in my throat, my mind desperately clasping onto reality when I felt myself slipping, my own demons telling me it was all my fault. 

I let him in, gave him an opportunity to do this. It was my fault.

Tears were brimming my eyes as I continued to fight. "Stop," I whispered at first, biting my lip to stop the sob. "Stop! Leave me alone!" 

His chuckle vibrated against the corner of my lips. "Let me show you how much I love you," he rasped lowly. 

I couldn't escape. His hold was too tight, too suffocating. My lungs squeezed until my breaths were clipped and ragged. I wanted to scream, to shout, to do anything that would help me escape. 

This isn't your fault, I tried to remind myself. You are the victim. This is not your fault, Kanza. 

"Dayyan, that's enough!" I screamed. "How could you betray our deen (religion) by doing this to me? How can you steal my innocence for your own-"