Less Than Perfect

{15} Broken Engagements

Kanza Hadad

"Congratulations!" cheered my family in unison.

Amira and I exchanged nervous glances with one another. We had just entered my family house and my parents and younger brothers were bursting with happiness, smiles wide and eyes sparkling like stars among a galaxy of hopes and dreams, a long awaited conclusion to my tragic love story from so long ago.

If only it was that easy.

"For what?" I dared to ask, knowing full well they had no idea about Tanwir wanting to ask for my hand.

My mother approached me first, engulfing me in a mother bear hug, arms squeezing the life out of me. "Oh, I knew he'd be the perfect man for you," she whispered, pulling back to wipe her tears of joy. "We just found out."

Confusion rang like bells in my head, warning alarms setting off every trigger as I remembered Dayyan's words, his threatening demeanor promising to marry me even if it killed him. And all the anger came storming back, thunder striking my expression as my mask fell, a horrid chill running down my spine.

My throat felt dry. "Did Dayyan call you?" I whispered, lowering my head till I knew shadows crossed my visage.

The atmosphere changed as all eyes settled on me, the cheering came to an abrupt stop like the tragic fall of a crescendo, their voices as still as stone, and my body was back in my apartment, trapped like a caged animal. No matter how many times I screamed for him to leave, he persisted. No matter how many times I begged, he kissed a mark on me.

A mark I desperately wanted to erase.

My mother cleared her throat as she sensed my darkening mood. "He did," she said slowly. "His family also called to say they would arrive tomorrow with a ring."

"He lied."

My voice didn't waver as I spoke. It was empty, broken, and lost all at once like an endless echo bouncing off a tunnel of darkness, looming over my frail form, taunting and mocking me. I felt caged again like Dayyan still had his choking grip on my waist as if he were stealing the life out of me.

What killed me the most was breaking the news to my parents. I hoped that I could avoid this until after I coped, but Dayyan left me no choice. He cornered me thinking I wouldn't confess the list of sins he committed as he invaded my privacy as if I'd kept my mouth shut like the trophy wife he wanted me to be.

But he was wrong. I would not be silent. Even if my words broke my parents' heart, even if my trauma haunted them, I would not stay silent for the injustice that was done to me. He stripped me of my rights as a Muslim woman, disobeyed our basic principles, and then smothered me with his controlling behavior.

"What do you mean he lied?" asked my father, taking a few steps towards me. "Kanza, what happened?"

Tears began to brim my eyes as I remembered. It hurt.

A few days ago, I would have never fathomed that this would happen to me, that I would be so close to losing the very thing I protected from birth, that my chastity would be challenged by the ego of a brute.

Amira's hand gripped mine, her touch flooding warmth through the ice that strained my veins. It was her silent vow of undying support, her effortless ability to clear a stormy day with the vibrant light of her nurturing smiles. I looked up as she nodded her head, encouraging me to speak.

There was no pity or judgment in her eyes, no, there was love, a friendship so strong that the tainted ink of another couldn't erase the golden crown of our bond.

"Kanza," my mother whispered.

"He violated me," I said, biting my lip and closing my eyes. "He came into my home and... touched me."