I took a deep breath, looked away from the phone, and then back at Shawn "I-I need to go" "No wait-" I ended the call and burst out in tears.
I know it sounds crazy, but I love him I do. But to see him engaged and soon married and having his own family with Rose. I just can't. It hurts too much. ~~~
Today was the day. The day when Shawn is going to get married and I need to force myself to not cry while I am standing beside him.
I stood in front of the body mirror admiring the dress I am going to wear during this big night.
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Someone knocked on my door which brought me back to reality. "Yes?" I said a bit louder so the person could hear me on the other side of the door. The door handle pushes down and the door opened. And there he stood. Hotter than ever. He had his signature smile on his face that I fall in love with every time I see it.
"Hi, c-can you help me with my tie?" he said nervously but he tried to brush it off with a bottle bit of a laugh that was hiding in the back of his throat.
"Yeah sure. But can't the other guys help you?" I asked and took the tie out of Shawn's hand. "They are too busy with other stuff" She chuckled and I could feel his eyes burn on me. I swallowed hard and I had to do my hardest to not look up at him. My eyes were glued on my hands tying his tie.
"Woah," he said all of a sudden which caused me to meet his eyes. "What?" "I never thought that I would say this to my best friend. But you look stunning" I shook my head and looked down at the ground. "I mean it. I mean, look at yourself" he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around so I was facing the mirror again. "You look amazing"
He looked at me from top to toe through the mirror and my eyes started to tear up.
I wish that those words he just said meant something to him. But they mean nothing. He just says that because he is my friend. He doesn't say them because he is in love with me.
He furrowed his eyebrows "A-are you crying?"
I shook my head quickly and rubbed my finger under my eyes. "N-no. I just got an eyelash in my eye" I laughed it off and hoped for the best that he would buy that lie. Which he surprisingly did.
"Anyways, thank you for your help. I need to go to the boys now. So, see you later?" he kissed me on my forehead and I did everything to not cry. - - Shawn stood there with intertwined hands and I could tell that he was nervous. Everyone in the room was silent and waited for the doors to open and the bride could go in the aisle.
The wedding song started to play, the doors opened and everyone stood up. And I have to admit it. She was beautiful. A beautiful long white dress, her long blond hair was in a beautiful hair set. As she started to walk in the aisle I looked over at Shawn and he had a proud smile printed on his lips and he was crying.
He grabbed her hands and the priest started to talk. I couldn't focus on what the priest said, the only thing I had in mind was that I wish that I was the one that was going to marry Shawn.
I wish so badly that I could travel back in time, and tell Shawn that I love him.
"Rose Marry Adams, do you take Shawn Peter Raul Mendes and promise to love him until death do you apart?"
She looked up at him and smiled. "I do" Shawn got an even wider smile. And the priest asked Shawn the same thing.
"I do"
"You may now kiss the bride" the priest nodded and so they did. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I did everything to choke my crying. - -
Later that evening, with all the speeches, cheering, and all of that, it was time to cut the big wedding cake.
She stood in front of him with his chest pressing against her back and they both held in the big knife.
I pressed my lips together and I could feel the tears starting to build up again.
-Shawn's POV-
I couldn't be happier. This was the best day of my life. I was so nervous this morning and now I don't understand why.
When we had cut the cake I made eye contact with Y/N and she was crying. Once again. As quickly she noticed that I looked at her she looked away and walked away from the party tent.
Seeing her like this hurts me from the inside. Because I can tell that it isn't happy tears, I have known her for years and I can see the differences when she is sad or heartbroken. And now she is heartbroken.
"Love? Can you just give me a minute?" I whispered to Rose and she nodded with the biggest smile on her face. "Of course I can. But don't be away too long" she kissed me on my lips and I followed Y/N.
"N/Y wait!" I called after her. "No Shawn. Just leave me alone" I could hear the cry in her throat and it breaks me to hear her like this. "Y/N, please" I grabbed her wrist and turned her around. Her mascara was ruined by the tears, her eyes were watery and red. "I'm fine Shawn. Go back to the wedding. It's your wedding so you need to be there"
"It's not the same without you" "Just leave me alone. I'm fine" she wiped off her tears and looked away from me. "Not until you tell me what's wrong" "We can take this another day. I don't want to ruin your wedding. I think It'd better if I just go home" "No Y/N. The wedding is not the same without you. I need you there. So please tell me. My wedding day will be ruined if I don't get to know what's wrong. Is it Richard?"
"Nothing of this has to do with Richard" I shook my head "Then what is it?"
"You really don't see, do you?"
"See what?" I furrowed his eyebrows in confusion "Common Shawn. Don't act stupid" "I-I'm not. I don't understand why you act like this" "It's you okay?! I have loved you for years. And to see you marry her just hurts. Because my feelings for you have never disappeared. They have always been there. So, there you have it"
I was speechless and even tears formed in my eyes. "For how long?" "It doesn't matter. You have your wife already" "For how long" I asked more firm and a lump started to form in my throat "Since we were 18" "Why didn't you tell me?" I shook my head and tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it was impossible.
"I was scared okay?! I was scared to tell you. I was scared to hear what you would say. And I hate myself for that"
I grabbed her hands and pulled her in for a hug. "I have always loved you Y/N" I whispered against her forehead and wrapped one arm around her waist and my other hand was on the back of her head. "I have always had feelings for you" she looked up at me and I wiped off her tears with the pad of my thumb. "You have always meant so much more than a best friend to me. But, now I am married. And I promise you, if Rose wouldn't have gotten into my life you and I would have stood at the shelter today. It would have been you and I who cut the cake, it would have been you and I who does the wedding dance. I love you more than anything"
I cupped her one cheek and looked at her dream eyes and then down to her lips. I slowly leaned in and kissed her softly. "But I can't" I whispered and rested my forehead against hers. "I can't do this towards Rose"
I slowly let go of her and walked back to the party tent and felt like the world's biggest idiot.
