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"It was all a game, just a sick, twisted game." - 10velyhaos-
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⍋Primium impressionem (16.5/20): I must admit, the title is bomb and I love everything about it! It's easily remembered yet unique enough to intrigue me which is great! You chose a great photo of the boys for the cover, but the thing I'm not fond of is the template you used, Canva has amazing options and in my humble opinion, this one doesn't do you justice. The font is quite unreadable and not suiting the theme of your story and I have to squint to see your name down at the bottom. Maybe you can bring up the exposure as well, just to highlight the boys a bit.
When it comes to the description, although the quote you chose is absolutely amazing and so gripping, I'm insatiable as you might already know from my previous reviews! I always thirst for more and nothing can stop my curiosity, so I'd love to see you add a sentence or two where you can lead me in your story. Tease me more, make me want to sink my teeth into it like a hungry shark! I know you have it in you!
⍋Et compages grammatica damnationem (20/20): Senpai, I got owned by you. Your grammar skills are something I can only admire and strive to have, well done! It's so satisfying to see, so fulfilling and wholesome, I love it! The fact that you're writing in past tense just proves how damn amazing you are, I am impressed!
As for your sentence structure, once again, you swept me off of my feet! It's full of variety, it's so easy to read and it's obvious you know what you're doing. Well done!
⍋Scripto artes (19/20): There's a certain eeriness weaving through your writing style that I can't help but adore. The trick of writing horror since there is no such thing as a jump scare is making me uneasy as your reader and damn, you do that perfectly! The narration style is so unique as it was in Possession, I love the twist to it and I can safely say that I'm in love. You have a firm grasp of where you're leading me with every sentence and it's amazing to see it!
The only minor thing I noticed and am not the greatest fan of is the fact that sometimes you have a burst of short sentences that could easily be a single compound sentence. Here's a couple I found:
She hated the way he talked. Full of wonder, and knowledge. ... She hated it. But she endured it for the longest time. ... Park Jimin was popular. He was loved.
Compared to the rest of your writing, these brief sentences seem like hammers of a piano bouncing off of the strings to play a staccato where it should be legato. That's the only inconsistency I can be petty about since your writing style should either be bold like these shorter sentences are or flow like the rest of your work does. Used like this, the shorter sentences lose their impact once you want to use them to achieve such an effect. All in all, I am very proud of you, hun!
⍋Influunt (10/10): The length of your chapters and paragraph spacing is well thought out, the concise chapters making this reading experience short and sweet in the best way possible! There are no weird jumps since you know exactly which parts to skip and which to leave in and that is something few can achieve! You did an outstanding job, I salute you!
⍋Insidias (17/20): Hmm, how do I start? This is my opinion though, please take that into consideration as you read on since my desire isn't to hurt you but to give you a different perspective on your story. Having to dedicate an entire chapter to explain the ending of the book to your readers isn't something that preferable.
I loved the mystery behind Violet - I wanted to know why she wanted to kill them all and you were keeping me on my toes the whole time! Then, the ending came and I was kind of disappointed since it lacked closure to me even though you did end it well. What do I mean by this? Well, when you told me where you took inspiration from, everything made sense, but I know for a fact that you can foreshadow it through your story! Yes, you left some hints here and there, but I as a reader won't give them a ton of meaning unless the story leads me to be more vigilant about it.
How can you achieve that? Maybe you can visually accentuate the important hints, add a bit of backstory in Jin's part in the end and describe her emotions more. It's good to confuse me from time to time, but me thinking at one point that she might be a ghost is too much confusion to handle. I know you have skills to interpret these important little details throughout the chapters, I see your talent so come on! What are you waiting for? Woo me even more than you already did!
⍋Characteribus (17.5/20): JIN! I WANT TO KNOW MORE! He is such a peculiar character and someone I feel isn't given as much attention as he deserves. Please, let me know a bit more about him! Why did he feel such a powerful connection with Violet? How did he find her exactly, what was his journey? As for the rest of the boys, some I could connect with immediately and understand what type of people they are, but I didn't feel that with Joonie and Jin so that's why I'm being a literal baby right now and whining to get to know them better.
Since your plot is quite straight-forward when you think about it (we have a girl going on a murder-spree), characters are the ones keeping the story afloat. I understand you were going for a shorter story packed with happenings, but taking some time to develop your characters won't dilute the plot but only enhance it. Be subtle like you were with Tae and Kookie, Jimin was also good as well. Get me to care about them and then murder them in cold blood. I'll love it more than you can imagine, trust me.
⍋Totalis puncta et summaries: 100/110! Well done, hun, I am so impressed with the level of skill you possess! I can't wait to see what else you have to offer and I'm looking forward to your future works! If you're searching for a short book to give you mysterious heebiejeebies, Seven Things I Hate About You is the perfect read for you!
I hope you find this review helpful, or at least inspiring enough! Please don't take this review personally and please keep in mind that this is just me trying to help you in the best way I can!
