east of eden | (g)i-dle

12; yuqi

tw // vomiting, mentions of violence, mentions of fire

hunched over the side of the cot, yuqi violently threw up into the bucket she was given a while ago, shuddering.

this was the first time she had ever experienced sickness of any kind, and she hated it.

the angel of health had made his rounds earlier and had deduced that there was nothing wrong with her after all.

no one could tell what's wrong with me.

i bet shuhua would've said that it was heartsickness.

"are you done?" the familiar voice of winwin echoed across the otherwise quiet dungeon.

"i think so," she responded, rinsing her mouth out with a glass of warm water and lying back down on the cot, her wings folded behind her.

she had grown fond of winwin's company, as he was the only one who spoke to her and saved her from the insanity that came with permanent silence.

"how long do you think i have been stuck in here?" wondered the female angel, staring at the stone ceiling.

"i don't know."

"how long have you been down here, then?" asked yuqi, switching tacts.

"i still don't know, yuqi. i haven't seen the light of day for a long time, that's for sure, but as for how many, i cannot tell." winwin replied, his tone soft.

yuqi scratched her chin thoughtfully. "alright then, who was the queen when you were sent down here?"

she heard him exhale a quiet sigh and clear his throat.

"she went by the name of boa. kwon bo ah."

she sat up in shock, inhaling sharply through her nose. "uh, winwin?"

"yes, yuqi?"

"queen boa's reign ended a thousand millennia ago. you've been trapped in this dungeon for over 1000000 years."

༻ ༒ ༺

"yuqi? you there?" winwin asked, his voice laced with concern.

she rolled over sleepily, accidentally kicking the bedframe and wincing in pain. "what's up?"

"what is Heaven like now?"

"what do you mean?"

winwin cleared his throat. "can you, like, describe how it's like? i haven't seen it in a-"

"-thousand millennia. alright."

did Heaven really change at all?

racking her brains for descriptions of how Heaven used to look like that she had heard from her elders, she thought for a while before speaking up.

"to be honest, Heaven barely changed at all. i think the main difference is that back then, angels weren't cooped up in Heaven all the time. now, we aren't allowed to leave."

༻ ༒ ༺

"tell me about your life." the female angel suddenly demanded, curiosity beating out the politeness instilled in her ever since she was a fledgling.

"my life?"

"how did you meet your... loved one?"

"do you want the full story?"

yuqi nodded furiously before remembering that he couldn't see her. "yes, please."

"okay, i'll start from the beginning. i was just an insignificant guardian angel and he was an archangel who used to guard the gates of Heaven. we met every day when i returned to Heaven after leading humans to lead better lives. we quickly fell in love, although we knew the rules didn't condone it. one day, i convinced him to run away with me. we were happy and in love, and we thought that we could do anything as long as we did it together. we could have run away and live normal lives together, but we got caught."

there was a short pause before he continued. "it was common to pack a few things to take to Earth when we were assigned a particularly difficult human, and no angel or saint questioned us carrying bags filled with our belongings to the gates, but we bumped into the young fledgling he used to tutor on the way, and she demanded to know where we were going. he certainly couldn't lie to the young one, and she had sworn not to tell anyone. we had it all planned out and everything was going smoothly until we stepped foot on Earth."

"they were chasing after us. the fledgling had told on us, and the queen herself lead an army of angels to catch us. we stood no chance. he was shot on the spot with the Holy Flame and could only watch him writhe in pain as they took me back to Heaven."

"that's such a bad thing to do! does the fledgling not have a conscience?" yuqi asked, thrown aback.

"but according to the rules, it was the right thing to do." winwin's tone was resigned as if he had long since given up on thinking positively.

"if i were to meet that young one again, i don't know whether i would hug or push that fledgling off the edge of Heaven. she did betray us, a long time ago, but she's the only trace of him left in Heaven. whenever i think of her, i can't help but be reminded of what we used to have."

༻ ༒ ༺

yuqi's ears perked at the scraping noise of a ceramic bowl being pushed in through the bars of her cell and quickly glanced at the hand that was delivering the food, her heart sinking with disappointment when she realized that it was just a saint.

i shouldn't have pushed yukhei away like that... what was i thinking?

reaching for the bowl of sustenance, she spooned the warm porridge into her mouth, swallowing hard to keep the food down.

"you have to eat!" lucas persisted, almost shouting at yuqi, who was facing the wall, trying her best to ignore him.

the porridge suddenly soured in her mouth and she whipped her head around, heaving into the bucket.

not again...

༻ ༒ ༺

minnie?

i don't know what you're doing or how you're doing right now. i'm trying to keep positive, but i really don't know what to do.

i need you, minnie.

i need your optimism. i need your support. i need your happiness. i need your love.

i miss you.

i went into this relationship knowing that it was not "the right thing to do", and we knew the stakes from the beginning.

so why am i so surprised that we got caught?

is it because i thought that we could be different?

is it because i thought that we could change things?

is it because i thought that we were special?

i don't know anymore.

what if what we had wasn't as real as we thought it was?

what if it just wasn't meant to be?

what if the rules were made to protect us?

i used to think i knew the difference between right and wrong, minnie.

but now, i'm not so sure anymore. the line between the two seems blurred.

is right or wrong determined by our morals or the Holy Flame?