east of eden | (g)i-dle

24; soojin

tw // mentions of fire

"i'll take first watch."

soojin's eyes were full of fire, adrenaline still coursing through her veins from the earlier fights as she challenged the others to object.

they didn't.

soojin watched as they lay down to rest, unmoving until she was sure that their breaths were deep and their eyes were shut tight.

once she was sure, she scooted a little way away from the sleeping group, pulling out a stub of a pencil and a worn leather-bound book, and began to write.

༻ ༒ ༺

dear diary,

there are no days down here, just sand and monsters and darkness. i saw some bones earlier that kind of looked like a human's, probably the remnant of some demon.

it's weird here.

now that i think about it, everything about these few days has been so weird. why was i the one to see minnie fall? why was i the one to get shuhua, and why did i even do it? she's an angel, for goodness's sake, i'm not even supposed to communicate with them! why am i even here on this team, travelling with them?

what's keeping me here? they don't owe me anything, i could go back whenever i want to. so why haven't i left?

are these warm tingles in my hearts, care? love?

i care for minnie, i think. and since i care for minnie, i care for shuhua, too.

care. after care, is love.

will this care sprout into the mess that is donghyuck's situation? would it force me to become a fool who cares about nothing but love?

i don't want to be weak. if love makes me weak, i would gladly get rid of all its traces in my heart. i don't need love in my life, and i don't want to be weak.

always questioning,

seo soojin

༻ ༒ ༺

"what're you doing?"

soojin snapped her book shut, her wings rising in alarm and almost knocking shuhua to the ground. "relax, it's just me."

the demon hid the small book in her arms. "none of your business, angel."

shuhua raised her arms in mock surrender, settling down on the sand next to soojin while keeping a respectful gap in between them.

the silence grew heavy and awkward, soojin unwilling to start a conversation and shuhua not wanting to talk first. the demon amused herself by flipping through the older pages of her journal, reading her past entries and stopping at the page she had filled only a short while ago with her cramped handwriting.

donghyuck was an angel, she remembered. and she's an angel. could she know something about him that i don't?

with that thought in mind, she broke the stillness with the sound of her voice.

"hey angel, do you recognise the name lee donghyuck?"

a frown crossed her face, and she shook her head. "not that i know of."

"oh."

"why do you ask?" asked the angel, turning her head for the first time to address the demon properly.