Defenceless l.s

Thirty One

⚠️Trigger warning⚠️

If you're triggered by eating disorders or weight numbers you can skip the parts marked with this sign at the beginning and end of the paragraph: ⭕   

Harry turned his head back towards the TV, still deep in thought, he had no idea what to do with this newfound information. What if he was seriously ill? Shouldn't it be their obligation to say something? To help him out? Even though they're not exactly friends, Harry would like to think that their relationship has improved a lot since the beginning, whatever it was that made him so nervous had obviously eased a bit. But he didn't act like that with anyone else, it was just him and at first he thought he's just extra nervous because they are a big corporation but he soon figured that maybe it was more than that. Maybe it had something to do with that Adams guy because why else would he be that uncomfortable with him? It didn't make any sense and even though he didn't know exactly what was wrong or what had happened, he felt guilty for not doing anything.

But what was he supposed to do? It's not like he could force him to eat and Harry knew for a fact that if he or Niall brought it up with him, he would deny it with all his life cause if it's one thing he's noticed, it's how he doesn't talk. At all. He wasn't sure if it was social anxiety like Niall suggested or if he was just a private person but either way they would have to come up with a way to bring it up without making him cower away. He didn't want to make him even more uncomfortable by meddling in his business.

What if this is why he passed out the other day? Harry had no idea what to do and it was unnerving him more that he would like to admit. Why does he keep finding himself in these situations all the damn time? 

Louis' POV 

Louis sat on their couch staring at the screen, reading and rereading the email Mr.Styles had sent him about the meeting tomorrow. He was supposed to have done this at work but he just could not understand what it said. He had to read every sentence out loud at least three times before finally getting an idea on what the hell this meeting was about. He sighed and shut the laptop before walking  over to their bedroom and crawled into bed beside Liam. 

He felt him loosely wrap his arms around his waist and stiffened. He didn't want Liam to feel the fat rolling off his body and be even more disgusted by him. Louis gently removed his arm and rolled over so his back was facing Liam before pulling the blanket up to his chin. He was completely exhausted but he just couldn't fall asleep, he stared at the wall in front of him until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, but even then he could not sleep. He tossed and turned, careful not to wake Liam, until he finally managed to drift off.

Louis left the conference room right behind Mr.Styles and was about to get back to his desk when Mr.Styles turned around to face him. Louis stopped in his tracks so he didn't walk right into him, that would be embarrassing, he thought. He looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something but he didn't. Mr.Styles opened his mouth and then closed it again, furrowing his eyebrows, looking kinda unsure. 

"Good job in there," he said and gestured behind them before patting him on the shoulder and walking away. Louis looked at him as he walked away, taken aback. What the hell was that? Was all Louis could think as he walked back to his desk. He had noticed Mr.Styles act very strangely towards him these last couple of days and he did not understand why. He would send him these weird glances everytime they happened to be in the same room; which was pretty often. And he had also started to act a lot nicer. . .  almost friendly and frankly Louis did not know what to do with that. 

He walked around the store looking for those damn batteries but it was impossible to find them. That place was like a fucking maze he thought as he spotted an employe stacking some folders onto a shelf. He decided to ask her to show him instead of walking around for hours, he had to get back before his break was over. She showed him to the aisle with batteries and all kinds of cables. He grabbed what he needed and quickly headed to the register which luckily didn't have a queue since it was lunch time. He paid and started speed walking back to the office, he got back just in time and headed to Mr.Styles office where he had told him to come after the break. 

⭕
He sent him to run some errands around the city which took the rest of the afternoon so to say he was tired when he got home was an understatement. His stomach churned for him to eat something as he changed into some trackies and an old band t-shirt. He took down the scale again and kneeled on the floor while inserting the new batteries before standing back up again. He stared down at it and took a deep breath before stepping on it. He could see the numbers quickly going up on the little screen by his feet. He could feel his heart starting to beat faster and faster as the numbers started to slow down. He stared intently as the number finally came to a stop.

119,05

He stared at the number as it glared back at him. How had he only managed to go down to 120? The number became blurrier as his tears threatened to spill. He stepped off the scale as he felt the fat burn on his body. He clawed at his arms and scratched his stomach, just wanting to rip off every ounce of fat clinging to him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around himself, grabbing at his waist.

Suddenly he felt utterly nauseous so he shut his eyes, digging his nails into his skin as he rocked himself back and forth. He started clawing at his arms again so hard it started to burn. But he didn't care, he just needed to get these disgusting layers of fat off of him. He sat like that until he heard the front door open. He quickly got up and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand before throwing on a hoodie he found on the armchair beside the bed, there was no way he was going to let Liam see him like this. 
⭕

He looked in the mirror to see his eyes red and puffy, he cursed himself for crying again and ran a hand through his hair before heading out to the hallway where Liam was taking off his shoes. All he wanted to do was have Liam wrap his arms around him and hold him like that, but that obviously couldn't happen, then he would realize how disgusting he truly was. So he quickly greeted him with a short 'hello' and then rushed into the bathroom, keeping his head low so Liam wouldn't see his tear stained face.