Defenceless l.s

Forty Six

They pulled up in front of the old building and Louis felt sick, he didn't know if it was nerves or what it was, all he knew was that he didn't want to throw up in Zayn's car. What if Liam is there? How will he explain this? What will Zayn say? He dried his clammy hands on his- Zayn's sweats before stepping out of the car. "Are you alright?" Zayn asked carefully. Louis nodded, though he didn't feel alright at all, his heart was beating so fast he feared it might stop at any moment.

He felt like he was entering a haunted house with the cold wind blowing through the naked trees and the leafs crusting under his feet. It was eerily quiet for an evening he thought and looked around. There were barely any people around, just a couple of bypassers. Zayn held the rusty door open for him as he entered and he was sure he was about to throw up. Liam shouldn't be home yet. It should be fine. It's fine. Fine. He's fine. He took in a shaky breath as they walked up the stairs. This is ridiculous, he thought. He is just going to his flat, his home. 

They stopped in front of his door, 74. Right, 74, that's his flat. His and Liam's. What if he is home? Zayn grabbed the key from his shaky hand and unlocked the door before looking at Louis with a frown, "you can wait here if you want, I can go get your stuff," he offered and placed a hand on Louis' shoulder. He jumped and moved away before shaking his head and swallowed. "No, no. I'm coming" he said, determined and opened the door. Zayn followed him as he entered the quiet flat and turned the lights on. He almost felt like a burglar even though he had only been away for two weeks.

He hurried to their bedroom and quickly grabbed a duffle bag from their closet and stuffed as much of his clothes he could fit before zipping it and flung it over his shoulder. He might've grabbed one of Liam's hoodies as well but that was only because he was in such a rush. "That's it?" Zayn asked as Louis pushed past him out to the living room. Louis nodded before stopping for a moment. "No, I need my suits," he said and rushed past Zayn again to grab his two favorite suits, he had another one but he barely ever used it. He handed them to Zayn, "okay, lets go."

"Are you sure you don't want any more of your things?" He asked.

"Yes. Can we go now?" He asked and looked around the messy flat. The bed was unmade and clothes were everywhere. Louis felt sick, so sick. "Let's go," he said and ran out the apartment. Zayn grabbed Louis' laptop and charger before rushing after Louis. When he caught up with him, he was already waiting by the car, pacing back and forth in the parking lot. 

"Lou, what happened?" He asked panting. Louis just shook his head, "can we go now?" He pleaded.

Louis put his bag in the corner of the room and slumped down on the double bed. This time he got his own room and could finally relax. He hadn't been alone in so long, sometimes he felt like his head was going to explode. He liked living with Zayn, but he barely got any time to himself to just think. He decided to change into something more casual, like black skinny jeans and a white shirt since they were going to dinner with some other people he didn't know. Apparently they worked under Mr.Styles but he had never met them. He kinda wished Niall was here with them.

They had a table reserved at an italian restaurant, it was nice, but not too nice. He worried that he would be underdressed but soon realized that that he was fine. It was actually a pretty pleasant evening even though Louis didn't say much. He just listened and laughed as the other conversed but that was fine. He was fine and it felt good to just go out. He ended up eating almost an entire salad even though he felt so full he thought he was going to cry. But he managed to distract himself from those thoughts which he would definitely consider a success.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night with his belly feeling so bloated, he felt the stretch of his stomach and it hurt. Like someone was pulling at his skin. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He felt sick. Sick. So sick. He just closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to think about something else. Anything else.