Eigengrau

Chapter Four

Seven months later...

I was on my way back to college. Despite getting discharged in a few months, I still needed to go to so many physiotherapy sessions. The doctors had insisted on me visiting a psychologist so that I can mentally recover from the trauma. Hence, all this led to me taking two semesters off. I applied for a medical leave of absence which the college easily granted. All my professors were very helpful. I was in constant touch with my friends. They often visited me at home and kept me updated with the inside news. All my friends were my seniors now so that was a tad bit annoying but at least I was going back. I was really excited for my first day of classes. My college was forty-five minutes of a drive from my house but after the accident, I didn't have it in me to drive again. So every day someone would have had to come to drop me and pick me up. Today, mom decided to drive me.

Soon we reached the entrance. I asked mom to just leave me there. It was already embarrassing for me to have someone drop and pick me up every day from college. I did not want random people to start making fun of me. My mom understood this in an instant. I got out of the car and was about to head in, when she said, "Hope... my darling daughter, why don't you come and give your mom a kiss."

Is she serious! Can she really not just leave. Why a kiss? I could see it on her face. She was enjoying it. She loved teasing me like this.

"Mom... please. I will give you as many kisses as you want at home. Please not here. Someone will see. It's my first day back. Please don't do this to me."

Mom told me mockingly, "Miss Hope, I will drive you to college every single day and pick you up. I promise I will never tease you like this and I will always drop you at the entrance so none of your friends see me dropping you. What I mean to say is that I will never embarrass you but that will only happen if you give me a kiss today."

Is she serious? She is resorting to blackmail. With a small groan and an annoying look, I gave up. I knew that she would do this so many more times if I don't comply today. So I quickly ran to the car window and gave her a small peck on her cheek and then told her, "Now go, mom... before someone else sees this. Please!"

She obliged. I rushed towards the entrance but then I saw it. All my friends were waiting for me right there. They clearly saw that. I cleared my head. Mom knew they were watching and that's why there was such an excessive need of a kiss today. I saw my friends waving their hands to my mom and I turned around to see my mom wink at them. Soon she was gone and I was left alone with those idiots.

Mockingly Kris told me, "Welcome back to college... Miss junior. Show some respect! As of today, we are your seniors. Just a suggestion, next time don't kiss your mom. Your friends might tease you because of that."

"Shut up Kris!" I was so annoyed but then all of us started laughing. It was just like before. Me and my four friends at college. The only unfortunate thing was, I had different classes from them and they were all my seniors.

Before I knew it, three weeks of college were already over. I was buried under assignments and homework. I also met some of my new classmates. They were nice people. I did miss my friends in all those classes but overall everything was going smoothly. I was trying to find a balance between work and my personal life. I also tried to be brave. My left hand tended to act up sometimes. Whenever that happened, it hurts so much but I hoped that time would heal all of it and maybe one day I would not have to carry painkillers everywhere. One thing the accident taught me was that life could end any second, so live every second of it.

I was in the bathroom with Kris. Standing in front of the mirror, fixing my hair, we were just talking randomly about how hypothesis testing was getting easier with the new professor when suddenly my left arm started twitching, and then the pain started. I sat down on the side bench of the bathroom. Kris could see that something was wrong with me. My face had gone pale. I told her that I was fine and that I would have to take some medication. I grabbed my bag and gulped down the painkillers. I explained to Kris about how this happened sometimes. My neck surgery was fine but there were some complications with my left arm. It sometimes acted up. She was a bit panicked but I told her to calm down. After gulping down the medicine, I sat on a bench for fifteen minutes. I told Kris that after more than fifteen minutes or so, the pain used to get bearable.

The next morning before my lectures began, Kris grabbed my hand and dragged me to an empty classroom.

"Kris, what's wrong? Why are we here?" I exclaimed.

"Hope, why did you drive that night? Please tell me the truth. It was 2:00 AM! I know you so well. You are literally the most safety prone person I know. How did you get into that accident and why were you driving so late in the first place? I want to know the truth!"

I knew why she was asking this. Yesterday must not have been easy for her. I love Kris and she loves me. We have been best friends since day-1 of college. Seeing me in pain yesterday must have triggered her curiosity and her worries but unfortunately, I didn't have an answer for her.

"Kris, I told you before... my memory before the accident has been hazy. I really don't remember. I have been as curious as you are! Actually, I have been more curious than you could ever be. I tried so hard to remember but I just couldn't. Even I find it extremely annoying. Why did I drive so late? What possible reason did I do that and why did I get into that accident. Whenever I mention this in front of my parents, they change the topic. I have tried asking them so many times. Unfortunately, they don't know and nor do I. What happened, has happened. There is nothing you and I can do about it."

"Hope, stay safe, and please take care of yourself. You have no idea what I went through when you were in a coma. I was so afraid of losing you."

"Hey... you didn't lose me. I am here, ain't I?" Kris was about to cry so I came up with a plan.

"Listen Kris. Hey... Listen... why don't both of us bunk classes today and have fun the whole day? What do you think? Just you and me and some good coffee? We can go to the park too. What do you think?"

There was no way she was rejecting this offer. With a small smile on her face, she said, "Sure! But I have one more question. Who is Ito?"

That name felt familiar. Like I have heard it before. That's when I remembered. Dad had mentioned this name the day after I came back from my surgery but why was Kris asking about this?

"How do you know this name? Do you know who Ito is?"

"Nope. I heard you mention this name. Last weekend when you came over to my place for a sleepover, you mentioned this name again and again while you were sleeping. Do you know, you have very weird sleeping habits? You laugh and cry and call out names like Ito. Are you sure the neck surgery did not damage something?" Kris made a very sarcastic face. I was so done with this brat... Kris started running in the classroom and I started chasing her.

"Excuse me... I don't have weird sleeping habits! You are the weird one. What kind of person looks at someone while they are asleep. Creep!"

Whilst are game of tag was going on, out of nowhere I heard someone clear their throat and say "Ahmmm ahmmm... Girls, please maintain decorum. You are in college not in school. Can you stop acting like ten-year-olds?"

We apologized and quickly rushed out of the empty classroom. A professor had caught us. It wasn't funny at that moment but later we laughed at that incident so much. He seemed very annoyed by us. As both of us walked towards café Plaisir, I wondered who is Ito and why do I keep calling out his name in my dreams?

Little did I know then that he was the person who gave me the choice to live.