Castellanos - A Flame That Never Dies

Volcano

Eliana Tessa Castellanos

I found Harmony on the bottom of the stairs. When she saw me, she decided to close the café for today. She never did that in the past ten years that I have been with her. Not even for all the fun that awaited her outside.

But I didn't mind. I needed a company of a friend right now and I needed to be away from here. From him. Well, for now. But I don't know if I can stay here for much longer.

When she gave me a spare change of clothes, we hit the road on her car. He didn't say anything. But I felt his eyes on my back as I came out the house, until we turned around the corner.

I place my head on the window the whole journey. I kept blaming myself once again. Why do I keep hurting the people that I care about? That I lo-

My own thoughts stopped me when I realised what I was thinking. That can't be. I can never.

A soft sigh leaves my lips and I close my eyes, listening to the low humming of the engine, my heart in internal turmoil of volcano on the verge of eruption.

When I felt the car stop, I open my eyes to look at the empty beach. She gets off the car and walks towards the front and I follow suit. She jumps on the hood of the car while I just lean my hips on the front, looking ahead at the vast ocean.

It's scent almost inviting me.

I fold my arms and close my eyes, turning my face slightly upward. I inhale a lungful of air. "So, he's your mate huh?" I hear Harmony's calm voice against the soft splashes of the waves.

I open my eyes and turn my head to face her. It held an emotion that I couldn't quite decipher. "Why did you run away from him Tess?" She says equally softly as the first time. I couldn't even be mad at her when I saw the sadness in her face.

I take another deep breath and look ahead of me, but I could feel her eyes on my face. "Because I don't deserve him." I chuckle humourlessly.

I turn my head to her again. Her unique copper golden eyes flicker between mine as she tries to understand me. "I still don't understand Tess. Why?" Her eyes squints even more as she fails to read me.

"I did something unforgiveable, Harmony. I almost made my brother lose his mate. I made Lucas suffer." I grit my teeth but hold on to her eyes. "A mate for a mate. He suffered so I will suffer. I will feel his pain. I will live his pain."

Harmony lets out a long breath and shakes her head. "Almost doesn't mean he has lost her, Tess. You cannot-"

"But I did make his live miserable. I made his life a living hell. A year..." My lips trembles as I stand away from the car. "For a year, Harmony, he lived in constant pain. He lost a year of his life. His Lycan took over him. He-he..."

But she was still shaking her head. "And you lost twenty of yours."

Her words made me pause for a second before I start shaking my head as well. "I had a choice. I chose to. He didn't. She didn't." I felt the volcano boiling inside me again.

"What about him then? Does he not get a choice? A chance? A life with you?"

I close my eyes as I keep shaking my head. "You don't understand." I could feel the flames slowly spreading across my heart. "You won't understand it."

"Then make me." She speaks calmly while my chest is heaving rapidly. She too gets off the hood and stands in front of me. "Give it a chance. Give him a chance."

"What about you then? Why don't you forgive yourself and return to the palace?" I question her not backing down. She finally closes her eyes, taking a lungful of breath. When she opens her eyes, they are still calm, but her soft face had hardened.

"It's not the same." She says through her clenched teeth, but her voice is still soft.

"Tell me how?" I push her further.

"Because your parents are not traitors or murderers." She finally breaks. The gold in her eyes blazing bright. "Because your parents are not the cunning vipers, betting their own daughter's life for their gain, betraying their kind. Their own blood. Making me a part of their sin. My sin was that I held my silence. I protected the sinners, and, in the process, I became one. I despise them and I want no part of their wicked scheme.

I will not take his name nor the title he held. The title that he wanted so badly to snatch from his own sister. I will never return to that place where they set up nothing but traps to their own. So, even if I want to, I cannot forgive myself."

Hearing Harmony's outburst for the first time, I felt the flames subside. Her words felt like needles poking through my heart. I take a shaky breath, my eyes still on her burning ones, which held so much hatred at this moment. "But they are gone now. Why don't you forget about them? About the past? Why don't you give yourself a choice?" I say softly.

She scoffs and shakes her head. "I thank the goddess for that, but I could never forget what they did. I remind myself of what they did, every day. So, I remember their sins and tell myself never to be like them.

For their blood still runs through my vein. If I could, I would bleed the last drop of this filthy blood that runs through my veins. Even if the goddess forgives them, I will never forgive them. As I will never forgive myself.

This is my choice. My path. An eternity that I chose to live. I will not associate with another. Only you, sister."

"But nobody blames you for the things that they did." I try to convince her again.

But she once again shakes her head, smiling sadly at me. "No, but I am my father's daughter. I'm afraid that I might turn out like him if I surround myself with power. I might become greedy like him and lust for things that are not mine to seize. So, I'll keep my distance from everything and everyone."

She steps forward and reaches out to hold my hands. "Give it a thought Tess. Give yourself a chance. The goddess doesn't just give a sinner a chance of eternity with their mate." She smiles sadly, her grip on my hand tightening.

"Keep the car, I'll head back first-" But I interrupt her. "No, take it. I'll run my way back." Then I look back at the inviting sea. "Or swim."

I hear her chuckle as she pats my hands and I return my gaze to her. "Think about it, sister." She gives me a sad smile before she drives away.

I move closer to the sea and sit down as the warm sun sits on top of the seabed, glistening it like beautiful gems. I pull my knees up and lay my head on them, thinking about what Harmony had just said. Could I really forget everything and return back?

Did the goddess really not blame me for my sins? She did give me a mate, but-

How can I ever forget her torn flesh? The cries of the broken Lycan? The blame that crushes my heart. How can I forget the broken look on his face? How?

Caving into the warm welcome of the sea, I swim against the waves to be embraced by her. I give in to the calming sea and drift along the waves which takes me further away from the land.