Chapter Eighteen - The Realisation

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A/N: Warning: This chapter contains content (panic attack) that might be sensitive for some readers.


Kopter


I watched, half-asleep, as a tiny black beetle crawled its way across my desk situated at the back of the classroom.

It was the period just after lunch and the room was still relatively empty. A few students hung around the open door, chatting with one another, but nobody else was seated like I was. I now spent most of my lunches like this, head resting on my outstretched arm on the desk of a free classroom and treasuring the few minutes of peace and quiet before classes started again.

Since Park's declaration of 'some time apart', lunch had been sharply demoted to my least favourite period. At least in class I had an excuse to not talk to anyone else and avoid their enquiries as to where Park was or why we weren't spending as much time together. The free time during lunch also gave my mind an excuse to wonder. It was an excuse to dive back into memories that plagued my dreams on a loop and an opportunity to ponder the questions I still had no answers for.

Park had made avoiding each other incredibly easy. The very next day, he announced to Dior, Darius, and Krishna that he would be withdrawing from all 'social activities' in order to focus on keeping up his GPA in anticipation of college requirements. No suspicion was raised by this, as Krishna had been doing much the same, and everyone had wished him well with his studies. The questions only began two weeks later, when Park and I had not so much greeted each other whilst Park had had full blown conversations with Dior.

He'd also reorganised the Koon Chai Cafe's shift schedule so there was no chance of me glimpsing him there. All of my shifts were either alone or with some college bro called Brad, who, in an interesting development, turned out to be very passionate about Thai politics.

I sighed deeply, causing a few locks of hair to fall in front of my eyes, and extended my index finger for the beetle to climb over. I wondered if beetles ever got confusing feelings for their little beetle best friends, causing them to have temporary beetle break-ups and little beetle heartbreaks. The beetle reached the end of my finger, proceeded to jump off the end, and plummeted to the floor a few feet below. I guess not then.

The classroom door to my left swung open and in walked Bianca. She spotted me through the crowd of students hanging around the door and walked over, taking the seat beside me.

She tilted her head sideways and met my gaze. "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged, lifted up my head, and stretched my arms up over it. Despite not knowing the real reason for my dampened mood, Bianca had been a real help throughout these past few Park-less weeks. Unlike the rest of my friends, she had asked no questions and proved herself to be a great distraction.

Ever since she'd apologised to Park, things had significantly improved between us. We sometimes sat together in classes we shared when I was tired of listening to Krishna's panicked ramblings over college acceptance letters or Darius' complaints of homework. We had such wildly opposed opinions on so many topics, so conversations between us were never dull. Often our debates became so heated that people would clear the area around us, further protecting me from questions about Park.

She pulled out her textbook and designer pencil case and began quickly scribbling down the notes that were on the board.

I looked over at her curiously and tapped my finger on her shoulder. "What are you doing? Class doesn't even start for another fifteen minutes."

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