I can't love you

Chapter 2

Astrids POV:
I wake up in time with the sun and get myself clothed and washed for the day. A minute after I finish my most trusted knight Hannah walks in with my maid Thea. They both bow, the maid says "morning your majesty" and Hannah says "morning Astrid." I told them both that when we are alone they can call me by my name since they are my friends but Thea doesn't like to take chances even as small as this one. "How are you my friends I suspect you didn't come up here to bid me a good morning."  They shake their heads and sit down next to me. Hannah speaks "news has spread around the kingdom that you are getting married, we just wanted to know if it's true." I take a deep breathe "yes it's true I am going to be married to princess Rosanna of the lake kingdom." They look at me in shock and Thea stands up and speaks "Astrid after all that happened those years ago are you really willing to do this" I can tell she feels strongly about this as she used my name but she is owed and answer "for my people I'll do anything." She shakes her head "I don't accept this, I won't let you hurt yourself again" I walk over to her and place a hand her shoulder "it is already done but you shall not worry we have her mother now and we can't be threatened again. Also it was not my choice this is my fathers doing I just didn't protest because my people need me" she hugs me round the waist and says I to my neck "as long as you careful I don't want you to end up like last time" I cup her cheeks and say "I have you and Hannah to help me if I do but I won't, I love you two, Hannah come join us." Hannah stands up and makes her way over and hugs us both tightly.

I walk to the throne room. I have a meeting with my father in which Hannah will be with me for. I open the doors and my father is sat on his throne I walk to face him and bow. "Morning father may I ask what this meeting is about?" He looks at my with a slight smile but I keep my stoic mask. He waves his hands and all the guards except Hannah leave. "Yes, king Leo is telling his daughter today about the marriage. She will visit tomorrow, I know this might be tough for you but as her future partner you are obligated to show her around the kingdom" I close my eyes and take a breathe. After not seeing someone in three years after breaking each others hearts. How am I supposed to even speak to her. I look to my father "of course it won't be a problem father." I bow once more then walk out the room.

I go straight to my room and sit on my bed. I try to slow my breathing and close my eyes. I count down from ten but it's not working. "Astrid your gonna be okay. I'm gonna come sit by you okay, I'm gonna help you through this." She comes down to my level and turns my body and puts a leg either side of me. One arm is around my stomach and the other over the top of my head holding me against her. She whispers in my ear "focus on my breathing, close you eyes and listen then copy me okay." She takes a long slow deep breathe hold it in then slowly lets it out. After a couple more times I copy and eventually I'm back to normal. "Thank you Hannah and please don't tell Thea I can't have her worry about this" Hannah gets up and offers me her hand "Astrid are you sure that is wise she helped you when this happened years ago, she could help again" I dust myself off "Hannah she's my friend as are you but she worry's about everything that I don't have the time to worry about, she doesn't need this on her mind do." She huffs "I guess what you told us all those years ago were true 'you've stopped feeling but you haven't stopped caring' but Astrid sometimes you need to feel" I look at she has the look in her eye that I saw when I first said those words. "Thank you Hannah for helping me but I'm ok this was a one time thing I promise" she shakes her head and cups my cheeks "you know that's a lie this has happened before and it's going to happen more and I fear that it will be worse this time".
"I will be okay Hannah I have you" she nods her head then kisses my cheek and bids me a goodnight. Tomorrow I'm seeing the reason I taught myself to be stoic, the reason I don't feel any emotion and I'm showing her round the kingdom. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

A/N
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